From Our Family To Yours

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2009 began on a sad note for our family with the passing of our Mother/Naw. While she had been in poor health for years, her rapid decline took us all by surprise. We are thankful to the Lord that her children and husband were by her side as she peacefully transitioned from this world to her real home. Her funeral was a testimony of the sweet and kind person she was and is.

The great news of 2009 was Matt and Amy's return to Texas after two years in Kentucky!! We are thrilled to have them in McKinney. Matthew was laid off from his job of nine years after a company takeover and Amy had fulfilled her contractual agreements so they came home for Amy to begin her own equine veterinary business in the Celina-Prosper area. Her business is beginning to take off and she is a determined and hard working young woman. Matt had to face the daunting challenge of finding a job in the Texas job market. Thankfully he had a generous severance package that covered him until he found a position. Now he is getting back into the groove of getting up early and fighting Dallas traffic!!

Brandon continues to practice medical defense law and was selected as Rising Star of Young Texas Attorneys for the second year in a row! Kylie is beginning her eighth year with ID Group. They are hoping to provide the Kulwicki family with a baby in 2010! Mom and Dad are really happy about that!

Our sweet Justin has been gone for 4 years now. 5 birthdays, 5 Thanksgivings and 5 Mother/Father Days have passed. It is still hard but not nearly so painful. I hate typing those words because they don't tell you how we still think of him every day, that we still miss him terribly, that we truly long for our reunion with him. And yet we are better. Much better. We are living again and want to. That in itself is a miracle and we are thankful if we have to be here that we want to be here. :)

Billy is loving his job with CFC. He works for the greatest employers and has the greatest electric co-operatives in the world! He gets to travel to Arkansas, Louisiana and east Texas regularly and then wonderful places in our country every month or so. I get to go with him a lot of the time and it has been a huge blessing for us to meet and to minister with these wonderful people.

I began my 11th year of Firmly Planted Ministries this September and the winds of change are blowing for me in ministry. I have felt a leading from the Lord to return to my nursing roots and my present love of heaven by entering the field of hospice. I have recently been hired to work part-time for a hospice agency and I am really excited to begin using all the things God has placed in my life over the past 11 years to help people transition from this world to the next one. I - and my board - believe this is a natural progression of the circumstances God has engineered in my life. It will mean a slight change in how ministry will happen in FPM. I will continue the prayer chain, mentoring and teaching Bible study and hopefully Sunday school in my local church but will cut down on my traveling and retreat ministry. Each opportunity will be prayerfully considered based on the time constraints of my patients and my schedule.

Billy and I have loved our move to Rockwall. We ride around in our golf cart or our boat, eat out, have some wonderful new friends who like to stay active socially and we have great old friends who come to Rockwall to hang out with us. We love being close to our boys and their wives and we are enjoying this time of good health in our empty nest. I never thought I would enjoy empty nesting. :)

We found out right before Christmas that my stepdad of 29 years has a malignant brain tumor. It looks like 2010 will begin with another member of our family making a journey to heaven. He is ready to meet his Lord and his wife and we are blessed that we know our family is going to be together forever.

So at the end of 2009 and all its changes - sad and glad - I want to leave you with a Christmas wish for blessings in whatever circumstances you face. May you know in the deepest part of your heart that you are dearly loved by your heavenly Father. That nothing is impossible with Him. That any and everything He has allowed in your life will be worked for your good and His glory. That you would settle that on this side of your circumstance. We have no clue what 2010 will bring but I have a feeling it will carry its share of good and bad. But we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. I wish you joy my friends. I wish you peace. But most of all I wish you Jesus. May 2010 find you more in love with Him!

God bless you - I love you - See you in 2010!!

Christmas Turnaround

Over-spending
Over-eating
Over-scheduling
Over-stimulated
Sometimes the excess of Christmas makes us wish for the simplicity of the original. I happen to think maybe that's a good thing. Not the simplicity - the excess that makes us long for the simple. We long for a turn-around. And the original Christmas WAS a turnaround.

For over 400 years there had been silence from God - no dreams, no visions, no prophetic utterances. And silence was going to give way to a sonic boom:

As God became man
As a virgin became pregnant
As a political decree turned into a divine proclamation
As the darkness became light
As shepherds became leading men
As angels became heralds; and
As a single star became a guiding light.

A REVERSAL - divinely orchestrated; and deliberate.

Christmas originally was INTENTIONAL. The original marketing strategy was one of mystery and revelation - NOT hype and fanfare. Shrouded in prophecy and overshadowed by expectation - NOT advertisement and commercialism.

Earth was on a collision course with Divinity and an invasion was staged. God Himself came to earth and He was on a rescue mission. The lost needing saving. The creation needed a Creator who could redeem what was ruined. And a reversal was staged:

A Creator became a human being
A Redeemer became a baby
and the stage was set:

"And it came to pass that a decree went out from Cesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed...."

So familiar and yet ....so under-thought! It was a plan beyond anything we could conceive. How did it begin:

With a decree that a census should be taken for the sake of taxes - how very mundane and political!

With a virgin becoming impregnated - how very unlikely!

With a baby being born in a world that had no room for him - how very sad!

With an announcement that a redeemer and king had entered the world being given to the lowest on the economic and social ladder - how very unorthodox!

A REVERSAL - divinely orchestrated; and deliberate.

He came in obscurity - under the cover of 400 years of silence and in the womb of a peasant girl - He will return on a cloud with trumpets blaring.

He came to rescue a world lost in sin - He will return to rapture a people saved.

He came in darkenss - He will return in blazing light.

He came and only a few knew - He will return and all will know.

He came and the world killed Him - He will return and every knee will bow.

He came to save us - He will return to take us.

He came because we were lost - He will return because we are found.

He came a s a baby - He will return as a King.

It is the reversal the world hinged on. But He didn't just reverse Himself. We - because of His coming, because of Christmas - have been reversed:

We were dead - now we live.

We were in darkness - now we are in the light.

We were sinners - now we are His righteousness.

We were lost - now we are found.

We were without hope - now we have hope.

We were unable to see or hear - now we see and hear with spirit eyes and ears.

We were paupers - now we are princesses.

We were beggars - now we can boldly go.

We were timid - now we are powerful.

We were the least - now we are the first.

We were the alienated - now we are inheritors of an unshakable kingdom.

We were separated - now nothing can separate us.

We were nameless - now our names are engraved on His hands.

We were despised - now we are infinitely loved.

A REVERSAL - that is the story of Christmas. Where an invasion took place, a kingdom was reclaimed and a reversal of fortune began.

How fitting then that we should go outside our doors and see a different reversal - commercialism, greed, cynicism, frenzy for the beauty, simplicity and purity of the real Christmas. It doesn't need to make you bitter, angry, cynical or irritated. It is fitting. It is right. It is truth. It is a reminder of the first Christmas - the real meaning of Christmas - when one day - the final reversal will take place and Baby Jesus will give way to King Jesus, the redeemed of the Lord will rule and reign and the stable gives way to a New Jerusalem.

So as you shop, cook, schedule and eat - smile softly to yourself. A reversal is coming!

Till Death Do Us Part

Billy and I met in May of 1973 at our senior class day at Six Flags over Texas. I was dating his best friend and he made me mad and Billy moved right on in and the rest is history! Six months later we were married on my 19th birthday. It scared my parents to death and left our high school friends at the lottery wheel betting on "how long will they last?"

I was your spoiled first-born, blonde-haired, blue-eyed cheerleader who did well in school and was an overachiever. Billy was the third-born, LONG-haired, brown-eyed playboy who tolerated school and just wanted to have fun! We were both 19 and from markedly different environments.

Several years ago I was approached by a youth group director who wanted me to come and share my marriage "story." I gulped and said I was probably not the one who needed to come and talk to young, impressionable minds with my story. She looked at me with great compassion and said, "Oh, did you have to get married?" That was probably the ONLY thing we did right. :)

We are a miracle. We are a living, breathing example that there is such a thing as true love from puppy love. Our marriage is nothing short of miraculous. I have no dramatic tales of fighting, separations or falling-outs! We started out as dumb kids madly in love with each other and grew to be the closest of friends who are madly in love with each other and the family we have - with God's help - created.

We have survived the best of days: a whirlwind courtship and marriage, the birth of three beautiful sons, watching each other become the godly people we were created to be, starting a ministry together and having the good health to enjoy these empty nest days surrounded by wonderful friends and family.

We have survived the worst of days: putting each other through college, a traumatic job loss, several unplanned and unwanted moves and the relocation of one son to heaven.

This man and I have shared so much together. We have grown up and grown old by each other's side and no one knows the joys and sorrows that have tied our souls together like we do. That is the heart of marriage. But more than that it is a commitment to stay when 'the worst of days' seem to go on with no light at the end of the tunnel.

Perhaps that is the biggest perk to growing old - you learn the light will always come. It may take a while - a long while - but it always comes. He always comes.

I sure wouldn't recommend getting married at 19 after knowing someone only 6 months but I'm sure grateful I did it! Wherever you may be in your marriage today I pray that you will hold on to one another. It is so worth it.

Happy Anniversary Billy!

Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving week and we are celebrating one year in Rockwall. It is a fitting time to be thoughtful about where we are and where we've come from. Thanksgiving was officially declared a national holiday in order for Americans to look back on our heritage - to remember those early British settlers who chose a hard and rigorous new country in order to have religious freedom. Because of their sacrifices we have the right to call ourselves Americans. Our country is not perfect but it is the best country in the world and many, many thousands of people would give anything to live here. I am so grateful to be an American.

I love our new city. We are close to our children and that is a huge blessing. They drop in on us frequently and meals together, shopping trips, movies, game nights - are no longer rare occurences. What a joy adult children are. We have a new church family and they have been so loving and accepting of us. We do lots of things together and you wouldn't know that we were the new people. We live on a golf course and by a marina. So we have lots of fun things to do.

I have to thank God for Billy's new job. He works for a wonderful company that values their employees in every way. He gets to travel a lot and I get to go. We've met so many lovely people and just this last week as we flew home from Tuscan and I was so sick, one of his fellow employees went to the sky mall store and bought me a neck pillow for the flight home. That's the calibre of people he works for.

We have had much loss and sorrow in the past year also. My mom and dad went home. My brother has had three back surgeries and many complications. My stepdad has a brain tumor. We still mourn the loss of our Justin. And yet, God has been faithful to sustain us, to comfort us, to continue to reveal Himself to us. We are filled with the hope of the day we are reunited. We are living in the kingdom today. We are anticipating with great hope all that God has prepared for us.

This Thanksgiving our children will be with their in-laws and we will be celebrating with our church family/friends who are also 'alone' for the holidays. We have discovered a 'new' life in our 'new' town and it is different. Different for me because I am accustomed to fretting and worrying. My new life - my choosing to live in the kingdom life - is finding joy in the now. Accepting the good in the life I have and refusing to dwell on the difficult. It's not that life isn't hard, it's just that this is not all there is and THAT is what I am the most thankful for.

So I am thankful. Thankful. Thankful. And before I wrap up this post, let me say - I am thankful for you - my friends. You are the greatest. I love you and I pray God blesses you mightily.

The Kingdom of God

OK, I know, I know. I'm really behind in my blogging. Believe it or not, it's not because I'm doing nothing, it's because I'm doing SOMETHING! God has gotten a hold of me like nobody's business and I have truly been meditating on it, contemplating it and down-right reveling in it!!! Let me explain where I think the epiphany began.

It was close to Justin's birthday. Always a sad time for me. I seem to stop any hint of forward progress and regress around his birthday, the anniversary of his departure and holidays. I was lying in bed - more like hunkered down with the covers over my head whining about 'my lot in life' when I heard God speak into my spirit, "Do you really think your plan for his life was better than mine?"

I couldn't move and I knew it was God because my spirit seemed to immediately answer for me - a resounding "YES!" But I - the spiritual Sherrie - knew better. I knew that was the wrong answer. I had to come up with something pious and spiritual. Funny thing about your spirit though - it's woefully HONEST. :) So while my woman was attempting to cover over, my spirit sat smugly forcing me to agree - "Yes, Lord. I think my way would have been better."

Ladies, it was a mind-blowing, life-changing moment. I can't say lightening flashed but a light did come on in my spirit. Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew how wrong I had been. How faulty my thinking was. How shallow my dreams for Justin's life and my family's life had been. The audacity of ME! To think I knew better based on what I was 'feeling.'

And what has happened since then has been nothing short of amazing. I have moved from the valley of the shadows into the Kingdom of God. The only shadow I see is His over me! It is miraculous. It is mind-blowing.

You see, the truth of the matter is - I think it took more power to heal my heart and soul than it did for God to raise Justin from the dead! We are so busy looking for the physical "fix" that we don't recognize the spiritual one.

I guess the true test will be the rapidly approaching holidays and one empty stocking. But grief with hope is life-enabling and grief without hope is death to the soul.

Take that word from God to me and allow it to plant a seed in your heart. Whatever you are stewing over right now. Whatever has been allowed to steal your peace or your joy. "Do you really think your plan is better than His for your life?" It begins with honesty and ends with a choice to move from the darkness to the light. It is a conscious decision that will need re-affirming until it becomes habit.

One days these eyes of faith will have sight. Until that day I am seeking Him for all I'm worth. I'm choosing Him - above all else. Just like a little child - my hand is clutched tightly in the hand that will not let me go. He is my all in all.

In my mind's eye I can already envision the day Justin and I will dance like two-years olds down streets of gold to the laughter of One who rescued us from the fall and redeemed us to His glory. Until He calls me, I will faithfully serve Him on this earth - to the praise of His glory. I can almost hear them in unison right now saying, "Bout time, sister. Live!"

NANCY - I mean - TINA NURSE

My little sister just got accepted into nursing school!!! I am so very proud of her. For starters - she had to go back to college after a L O N G hiatus and she has maintained a 4.0 GPA. She's also had a grandbaby during that time, helped to care for our dad and mother, grieved their losses, went through a major relocation, held down a full time job plus worked diligently for her church and she is 51!!! Did I mention they only accepted 50 students?

Tina is the middle child of our family. She will tell you it was a hard spot to be in. I kinda think it made her who she is today. Anyway.....she will be an awesome nurse. She's old enough to know what she wants and she's been around the block enough to know how to treat people and to empathize with their hurts. She's young enough - in all the ways that matter - to contribute a lot to the medical community. I can't wait to see where God places her. I dread to hear her tell me how "long" I've been out of nursing and how "behind" the times I am. One of the trials I will have to bear over the next two years. :)

So here's to my sister!! Way to go DD! We are so proud of you. We knew you could do it. You are a marvel.

BOYS! Oh Boy!

In the fall of 1981 we added our third child in less than four years to the Kulwicki family! It marked the beginning of the craziness that was to be our life for many, many years. We were seriously outnumbered! I know it was only 3 to 2 but they were so full of energy and we were so sleep-deprived that it felt like there were 10 of them! Seriously, life revolved around formula, diapers, food, snacks, naps, laundry, dishes and baths for years. About the time they learned to sleep we began SPORTS and we just exchanged one set of time-consuming, mind-numbing activity for another. We were busy, busy, busy!

I don't think I ever took a bath without an interruption for at least 10 years. Pretty sure I never got to go to the bathroom without a question being thrown my way, a door being opened or a fight breaking out! Life was never boring. They were loud, stinky, constantly in motion, always picking on each other, loved to fight and were highly competitive. Nothing was sacred in their quest for superiority one over another - be it a job, a car, a girl - noxious eruptions, belches or the size of any anatomical part, their prowess on the football field, soccer field or academia. It didn't matter - they were ruthless. Dinnertime was the stage and they were "on." We laughed our heads off at their stories and refereed when competition turned personal.

Here are just a few of their more notable quips:

On the sizing of the proverbial "cup" during baseball season: "You'll need a Dixie cup. I'll need a route 44."

On missing their mother during the college years: "We'd miss you if you'd ever leave!"

On the required physical for sports: "I'm giving him (the dr.) 5 seconds then I'm coming up swinging."

On our frequent moves: "I picked up Kitty (our cat of 21 years) and she said, "Oh, we're moving again?"'

Those are the printable ones. They are witty. They are full of themselves. They are so bad.

We've since added two darling girls to our family and I'm sure they have been a little overwhelmed when we have family dinner. To their credit, they have held their own in a family that has few social graces. They have even been known to throw a few punches themselves.

I love watching the girls with their men. They don't take much flak off them. They roll their eyes. They give them the eye. But boys will be boys. They don't usually notice the eye. I do. I get it. Now they say things like - "I don't understand. She says it's my TONE!" Billy just nods his head in silent affirmation.

As for me. It's about stinkin' time. About the time my estrogen is gone a fresh supply has come into my house. Life is getting interesting again. My boys are finally getting what they have deserved - some refining. In all fairness to them - they are fighting it tooth and toenail. For far too long their inner man has been allowed to go free. But these girls are reining them in - gently, kindly and with love.

Reminds me of another inner man that left to itself was obnoxious, loud, and smelly. And then we choose Christ and He sends the Holy Spirit to live in us and change us from the inside out. Ever the perfect gentleman, He does so in love. Transforming our thought life, cleansing our heart, taming our tongue - resulting in a new creation. A new man (or woman) who puts others before himself, whose speech is wholesome and whose life is a testimony of what it means to be part of a family - far from perfect but perfectly loved.

ALL THINGS FAMILY

I've shared with you before that our family has the mega-family reunion of all reunions. Started in 1969 by our MamMaw to find a way to keep her 10 children and 40+ grandchildren connected she would be delighted to know that even though we are down to only 4 of the original 10 - the reunions keep on coming! This year our theme was "You Ought to be in Pictures" and was complete with our infamous family picture backdrop consisting of the stars' walk of fame - all ten of the childrens' names in STARS. It was sweet and it was bittersweet. The first year without our Mom and our brother was RE-hospitalized for emergency back surgery. He had surgery the week before to repair a ruptured disc and developed excrutiating headaches. They discovered he had another bone fragment that had punctured the dura of his cord and it was leaking spinal fluid causing the mega headaches.

SO while we were celebrating family - very present with them - our brother was undergoing surgery 200 miles away and our hearts and minds were very much with him also!

We weren't the only ones experiencing the angst of wanting to be in two places at once. Many in our family were undergoing business/financial/relational/physical/personal problems and yet for a few hours on a Sunday in September we swept them aside and just celebrated the joy of belonging to one another. Such is the tension in the family of God. We are exhorted to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.

This Sunday we took the time to share some memories. Believe it or not, we usually don't do that. We're so busy - eating, catching up, judging the dessert contest, helping the children 'do' the coloring contest, bidding at the silent auction and admiring the creativity of the year's theme that we don't really stop and remember 'why' and 'what' we are celebrating. Maybe it's because we lost my mom and we're down to less than half the brothers and sisters or maybe it's because the cousins are older - but we stopped this year and talked about things remembered. It was fun for my generation but I noticed the spouses and siblings left behind were crying.

We rejoiced over the sweetness of memories past and we wept for what was forever gone. And yet.....in the Lord nothing is lost. I couldn't help but think for Mother, her reunion on the other side is growing just as ours is shrinking.

The same is true for us on this side of the veil. For every tragedy and heartache we are currently experiencing there is a reward awaiting for those of us who persevere. As we hold tight to God, trust in His faithfulness, speak of His goodness and wait on His promises we don't have to weep over our loss but rather to rejoice in our gain.

So I hope today you will think back on your memories of God's faithfulness and ride out the current difficulties you are experiencing knowing that you know - He took care of you before and He will forevermore! He who promised is faithful!

What A Difference!

It's just been a week but what a difference a little time can make. Last week we had a solid week of gray, overcast, gloomy, rainy, wet days! We knew we needed the rain but after a few days it affected our mood, our commute and our HAIR. Then one day the sun popped out, it began to dry things out, people quickly mowed their lawns and washed their cars and what do you know? The grass is greener, formerly dried up plants are sporting bright colored blooms again and the sun seems much friendlier and welcoming.

Today is my mother's first birthday in heaven! She's been gone from this earth for almost nine months. In my mind's eye I can see her laughing with her mother, dancing down streets of gold, teasing my Justin, in awe of the colors of the flowers and the fragrance of heaven whereas prior to her death she was losing her vision and her hearing, she could not walk and her arms were almost void of any range of motion. What a difference a little time can make!

There is no arguing that life is hard. But we would do well to take a lesson from nature. It takes storms to produce beauty and the storm is not the end. The storm is the means used to produce the beauty.

In our own lives we will have trouble. Jesus repeated that over and over again. But He also qualified it, "In this world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." It is an admonishment that in the midst of our trouble/pain/diagnosis/prognosis to look beyond the rain to the rainbow. To believe beyond what we see to the promise. God is clear when He promises us that "all things work together for our good." It is ours to trust.

So whether you are enjoying the sun or enduring the rain it is to our Father's glory that we jump in the puddles, turn our faces to the sky and know - the Son is coming!

School Days

I was thinking about the start of school this morning - more specifically about when I was in school. It was so much fun to buy our little plaid dresses and pinafores. Yes, plaid was definitely "in" in the 60's. We also had 'to die for' metal lunch boxes and I absolutely loved carrying my lunch box each morning to school - though to be honest it took about ONE lunch before the thing stunk to high heaven. It was so cute on the outside but the inside always smelled like metallic old cheese. And I don't know about you - but my thermos never made it past the first week. I ALWAYS broke the glass. GASP I just realized - we would NEVER let our children carry a glass thermos. Plaid, glass, metal and dresses - times have sure changed.

Yet for many of us adults fall also signals the time for the start-up of new Bible study. I hope you are preparing yourself for a new school year. I hope there is anticipation in your heart and that you are preparing your wardrobe for a new year. It's the time to scrub our hearts, sharpen our vision, listen more intently, clothe ourselves in His righteousness alone and put on the shoes of the gospel of peace.

In the Psalms we continually hear a psalmist telling us that God wants to give us a "new song." That's what a new school year signifies for us. A new beginning. An opportunity to hear a fresh word from God and to act on that word. But it begins just like my mother began my school year - with a little preparation.

If you are preparing to begin a Bible study prepare yourself. If you don't have a Bible study on your calendar, consider doing so. We are to be students of His word. He is found in the words of those ancient pages and He is fresh, contemporary, living and active. Within the setting of the study of His word we will find brothers and sister who are like-minded and will help us to grow into the men and women we were purposed to be.

Apart from study and fellowship we will become like my cute lunch box - good-looking on the outside and stinky on the inside. And let me tell you something - by the end of the school year the metal didn't contain the stink!

Here's to the aroma of Christ in you!!! Happy school year!

Vacations

The Red Dog Saloon is located in Juneau, Alaska and it has a pretty interesting and scandalous reputation - as I'm sure you can imagine without my embellishment. This is the closest I dared to get - didn't even peek inside. But as I was going through my pictures and wondering what to blog about on this beautiful Monday morning I couldn't help but think that vacations are a little bit like the entrance to that saloon.

A vacation is intended to be a doorway to rest and recreation. A getaway. We certainly experienced that on our vacation. We went with my sister and her husband so we had the privilege of enjoying not only the time away in a beautiful place but also the fellowship of family. Double blessing.

Alaska is a place of rugged beauty - a far cry from the flatlands and heat of urban Dallas, Texas - which was a constant reminder to us of the creative majesty of God and His remarkable gift to mankind. He could have made the entire earth alike and yet He chose to give us diversity and contrast. Vacations are meant to give us a chance to experience new things and to recognize God's hand in providing enjoyment to our lives.

We went on a cruise - so we were pampered. It was wonderful to have someone else worry about the details of life that so occupy mankind. No yard to worry about. No beds to make or dishes to wash. Not one thought about what to cook - only where and what to eat. No deadlines. No alarm clocks, no internet and no cell phone. The things we thought we couldn't live without became distant in our thought processes.

And then along came MONDAY. Billy just left. He is returning to his world and I am left in mine. And if we aren't careful the rest of last week will turn to the drudgery of this one. Vacations are just that - vacations. A respite from the world - not a capitulation to it.

Just as that door to the Red Dog is a portal that must be opened to leave the safety of good reason and prudence; so the thought life is a doorway and we must carefully consider what we allow to enter our hearts and minds. Vacations are a privilege. A privilege that comes from work. Work is a gift. If ever we needed to be reminded of that it is today with rampant unemployment and so many we love struggling to make a living or find a job. And while it would be easy to hunker down and complain about coming back to the 'real' world, I must CHOOSE instead to be grateful for the rest. Grateful for the beauty. Grateful for the fellowship. Grateful for the opportunity. Grateful for safety. Grateful for a home to come back to. GRATEFUL.

Gratitude is the doorway to praise and praise is the home of God Himself. He INHABITS the praise of His people. While I didn't even open the door to the Red Dog, I have to admit I have pined for my cruise ship. But this morning in the beauty of the day and a husband off to provide a living, I choose to snap shut the door that leads to darkness and turn to the light of this bright new Monday. To turn my thoughts to the wonderful memories made, the wonderful sights that were seened and to tackle the things set before me with renewed vigor and joy.

I pray that your week is one of His rest - wherever you may be or whatever you put your hand to. Give thanks!

Alaska Bound

Billy and I will soon be departing the southern furnace for the northern refrigerator! It is our first trip that far north and we are excited to see the beauty and escape the heat. We're also excited because my sister and her husband are going with us. They haven't been on a vacation in a long time and they've never cruised so we can't wait to share the joys of life on a ship with them! They are in for such a treat.

I wanted to share with you our plans because I thought you might enjoy hearing about them. Some of you are groaning already - thinking that I am bragging or maybe that you are jealous. Please keep reading.

For the first time in our cruise-history we planned ahead and went online booking our excursions. Excursions are side trips you take when you go into a port. They are extras that you have to plan and pay for but the cruise ship makes it simple for you to book and travel to and from the excursion and they actually enhance your experience of the place to which you are traveling. We chose two this time. One will be on Saturday and we will go on a 'guaranteed' whale watching trip followed by a salmon bake.

Billy has decided that the only way you can guarantee that a whale will come around for you to watch is that they are fed by the cruise ships. I will be watching for that. I bet that means the whales are extra fat. I digress.

It's the second trip I want to tell you about. It is on the Lord's Day. Fitting.

We are riding on a train up a mountain and then going on a short hike - it seems they mentioned bears and other wild animals. I desperately hope no one has been feeding them. I don't want to see them. I digress again.

This brings us to a lake where we will get on our TWO-MAN KAYAK. I had to talk Billy into this. My rationale is we should do things on these excursions that we haven't done before. His is that kayaks must be balanced to avoid tipping over and the water is going to be COLD. I emphasize the 'cold' because it was at this point he looked at me with a cocked eyebrow and rolling eyes. I prevailed and we booked it.

We leave the kayak and they give us a snack (I think this is partly why I booked it - doesn't that sound cute?) and drive us back to our ship in a motorcoach. They did not mention anything dangerous or scarey. It would be bad press to drown or allow your paying tourists to get hypothermia, right? I feel safe. Billy - on the other hand - says he feels a tremendous burden to keep the craft UP all by his lonesome. I think he thinks I'm not going to be any help. I think that's sexist. Everyone knows that women have better balance than men. AND I'm short so I have a lower center of gravity which is very useful for some things. Not really sure if it will help me in a kayak but I can do all things through Christ which keeps me upright. (my paraphrase)

By the way, my sister and brother-in-law passed on the kayak adventure so there will be no pictures or ahem, truthful commentary. You will hear only what I want you to hear. :)

But as you sit in your toasty pew Sunday morning and a sudden chill runs down your spine - it could be the Lord stirring you to pray for Billy who will be doing his usual man-thing - trying to keep his wife upright!

Love you all and will DEFINITELY give you the blow-by-blow from MY PERSPECTIVE when we return!


PS I just read this to Billy and he said he might write his first blog upon returning. I'm not afraid - he can't spell, I will have to proof-read it and hence, corrections will be made. :)

Ministry

So often we think of ministry as a profession - a paid job - a career. We tend to compartmentalize our lives into home/work/leisure/church and not see the big picture where those 'compartments' overlap one another and all contribute to 'who' we are and 'what' we do.

I want to ask you to consider the life of Jesus. He grew up in the home of his parents, trained under his father Joseph and became a carpenter. At 30 he left home and began his 'ministry.' That ministry involved walking around and teaching and then 3 years later dying on a cross.

I would submit to you that every part of his life was ministry - not just the 3 years of teaching and not just the dying on the cross. His early life - though noticeably unwritten about - is summed up in "he grew in favor with God and man." That means he was doing what he was supposed to be doing. Are you? Am I?

Ministry is 24/7. It is present in your home as you take care of what God has given you however grand or humble it may be. It is in the care of your children and/or spouse as you make home a safe place to grow and develop and to learn of authority, kingdom principles and love. It is present in your workplace as you practice ethics, kindness, fairness and loyalty. It is present in your leisure as your character is revealed in your competitiveness and your choice of activities. It is present in your church life for it is here that all four areas seamlessly unite to give back to God the praise that is due Him.

I don't want to take anything away from those who have gone to seminary and are called to pastor BUT I think perhaps too much has been taken away from those of us who are called servant by the Most High God. We have abdicated our unique positions of being the hands and feet of Christ to those who are 'paid' to do it and mistakenly bought into the notion that we don't really have an impact on kingdom work because we're not 'on staff' somewhere.

That is dangerous and shallow thinking. We are the called and set apart. I don't think that means like being 'set' on a shelf. I think it means that everything we do has an impact. Every place we go is holy ground. Every word we say has eternal significance. We are ministers.

And we will be paid. Maybe not ever on this planet but for sure in heaven. I don't know how God will do it or what it will look like. I don't really care. He is fair and just and my/our job is to walk with Him day by day doing what He has set before us. That way we are right in the center of His will - ministering.

Whatever you put your hand to - do it with all diligence. For the audience of One.

The Weirdness of Family

Meet Mager and Kong. These are Brandon and Kylie's Great Danes. They are huge and they are the most docile, lazy and trouble-free dogs I have ever seen. They have sweet and gentle personalities and they have been known to come and sit (like a real person) in your lap. That seems to be the norm for Great Danes. Mager is young and playful. Kong is old, gray and arthritic. He recently got a brown spider bite that was very painful - both for him and Brandon and Kylie - they had to doctor him round-the-clock, it was very expensive and they really thought at one point that he might not survive. With their great care he is again thriving.
Meet Elly. She belongs to Matt, our middle son. She is pretty and she's sweet but she sheds like crazy. She adores water and has been known to FROLIC in Brandon and Kylie's custom, one-of-a-kind water fountain at their home. (Much to their horror and consternation because Kong and Mager had no clue that you could/would or want to play in water.) Prior to Matt's marriage to Amy, we were the ones who had to babysit her when Matt had to be out of town. She really was fun and no trouble if you don't count the white hair EVERYWHERE, the dog poop in Billy's immacultely groomed yard and the drool on the windows and doors. What's a little inconvenience with family, right? When Matt married Amy their little family grew to include Katie, a rescue lab, Charles, a Chihuahua, Maude, a Persian cat, Brie, a stray cat and Harley, a horse. If you are wondering why they are not pictured above - I am a little overwhelmed at the thought of trying to get a 'family' picture.

This post is really not going to be religious. It's going to be a way for me to vent. You see.....I would like some homo sapien grandchildren. Nothing wrong with the four-legged kind if you are an animal lover but frankly, I'm not. I'm a nurse. I don't like drool, poop or dander. I don't like being dirty. Now, I know what you're thinking......kids are dirty. They poop. But for the most part it's contained. And it's sweet to wash kids. It's a nightmare washing dogs. And to me - well, they smell worse wet.

sigh

Our church encourages adoption. Billy said that was meant for younger people.

sigh

I had some abnormal blood work at my annual physical this year. I warned the children I might not be able to babysit if they didn't hurry.

smile

I don't think they were convinced.

sigh

Family. My family. They are just weird to me. By their age I had kids in school.

sweet memories flooding in

But you know what? They're my weird family and I adore them. You probably already guessed that.

smile

It takes all kinds to make family. Some of us are weirder than others. But when the rubber meets the road we are bound by invisible cords that stand the storms of life and the minor irritations only stand to give us something to laugh at when the day is done. I'm not a perfect mother - according to my boys I'm not even a great one - but I am crazy in love with my kids - ALL of them. And in the scheme of things, that is the greatest gift I can give them. My crazy, mad, umbilical cord-of- steel love.

Life is tough. Bad things happen. Love endures. Tell your family you love them today. Hug them harder. Forgive them more quickly. Blow off the unimportant.

One of the greatest gifts of getting older is realizing that - shhhhh, it's a well-kept secret.................

"WE'RE ALL WEIRD!!!!!!"

So stop sweating the small stuff. Stop comparing. Stop worrying. Love. It bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love NEVER fails." And at the end of it all, to know that we loved well is the greatest epitaph of all.

I love you!

Vacation, Camp and Heaven

This is the time for the kids to go to camp and families to travel. It's a time for making memories and discovering new wonders about the world we live in or in the case of camp - new things about ourselves. One of the things that we all do before we send our precious child to camp or ourselves to another destination is preparation!

We would never dream of sending or going without researching the destination. After all we want to make sure that it is 1) worth our time and 2) that we derive the ultimate fulfillment from it.

When we learned of our Justin's relocation from this earth to heaven I remember wracking my brain trying to figure out what he was doing and what he knew and could see. I realized very quickly that while I thought I knew a lot about God's word I had never really studied up on heaven. Nor had I heard many sermons on heaven. And I realized that I had sent my child on ahead to a place I had not researched or truthfully even been too interested in.

Most of you could probably relate. After all - we trust God, right? We just believe that He's got it all under control and that heaven will be great. So why sweat the stuff we can't understand anyway? After all, the Bible says it's a mystery, right?

Wrong! The Bible is rich with examples and hidden treasures regarding heaven. In fact, C. S. Lewis says that it's only since men have quit thinking so much about heaven that they have become so earthly minded. We are told to "set our minds on things above where Christ sits." God's word says that "the spirit reveals" those things that are too wonderful for us to comprehend. We can know and are in fact, commanded to know.

It took my son's relocation for me to really sink my teeth into study about heaven. Thankfully there are some wonderful writers that have done a lot of the work for us - Randy Alcorn being one of the greatest of our day. I would encourage you to read his work. He has many excellent fictional novels that will pique your interest in reading his apologetic, Heaven.

Here are some of the benefits of learning so much about heaven: a lack of fear about dying, immense gratitude for the work that Christ accomplished on the cross, a sense of wonder at the hugeness of God's plan for redemption and a desire to live better, serve harder and love more deeply.

The desire and compulsion that many of us feel to investigate vacation or camp spots has to do with our excitement and interest in those places. Don't you think we should have that same excitement and interest in where we will spend eternity? Don't you think God deserves our - at the least - curiosity about the place He has prepared for His beloved children? I do. I am sorry it took Justin's moving there to motivate me but I am not sorry for the time I have invested in studying about heaven. I am like a kid on Christmas Eve. Living in the anticipation of what lies ahead. And knowing for once I will not be disappointed in the imagining! It will be better than any brochure, postcard or dreaming.

I can only imagine........

A Word From Oswald

In my journal today I read these words from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest and I believe someone else needs these words as desperately as I do. I pray it encourages you today as it did me.

"And the parched ground shall become a pool." Isaiah 35: 7

"God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we will have patience. Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry. We are always in such a frantic hurry. In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet; and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fire and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality. Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape.

The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be. Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don't lose heart in the process. If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you."

Get on the wheel of God's love today. You are in no safer place than His hands. Here's to the vision!!!

DECKED - or hemmed in

Our deck is completed and many of you had asked me after my earlier pictures if we were going to put a railing around it. As you can see it is safely enclosed now. It was not safe without a railing and because for many weeks it was un-railed and unsafe, we were very careful about walking on it - staying very far away from the edge in case we accidentally overstepped and fell a nasty 9+ feet to the ground!

Now that the rail is safely installed, we are free to walk, jump, run, dance or any other fun shenanigan we choose to do. It very much reminds me of what the psalmist was trying to explain to us in Psalm 139: 5-6: "Thou hast enclosed me behind and before, and laid Thy hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain to it."

The safety net that God has placed around the believer is meant to give us freedom - not to imprison us. It is where we are free to experience the fullness of life while living in the safety of His love.

It is not only a wonderful place to be but also such a 'high' thought that we have trouble wrapping our minds around it. Sometimes life doesn't feel or look safe. Even for a believer. There is a lot to be worried about and a lot to cause us to want to hang back and to walk cautiously - just like when my railing had not yet been installed.

God wants His word to penetrate our hearts in order that we live with bold abandon believing Him to have us enclosed in His protective right hand. As we begin a new week may we walk, dance, jump and run fully aware that we are safe to proclaim "He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. And He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear, and will trust in the Lord." Psalm 40: 2-3

These Shoes are Made for Walking

"Moses My servant is dead; now therefore arise, cross this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them, to the sons of Israel. Every place on which the sole of your foot treads, I have given it to you just as I spoke to Moses." Joshua 1: 2-3

I think there are several things in this passage of scripture to stimulate us to move forward in our walk with the Lord.


1. The past was over. Moses, the great deliverer of Israel was gone. The children of Israel had a time of intense mourning. They probably had some real insecurity about their future but God's word to them was "arise and cross." There is no final chapter in the kingdom of God. There is an ever moving forward march. Yes, there may be a time for mourning...a time for rest....a time to reexamine....but it's not over as long as you're living and breathing.


2. Even though there was still a fight to be fought, a land to be conquered - God's word was PRESENT TENSE. God was giving them this land. Final word. No arguments. No need to fret.


3. God told Joshua that everywhere he set his foot - the land would be his. That's where I want to sit for a spell.

Don't you wish - sitting on this side of history and reading these verses today - that we could go back in time and say, "don't stop walking Joshua! Walk till you drop! Take it all, brother!" That's what I would say. Don't be chintzy. Walk! Walk! Walk!

I know that had I been Joshua, I would have probably gotten tired, wondered how much was enough and perhaps even 'settled' for a smaller portion just to be done. But Oh! looking back, I want to tell Joshua to go for it.

I wonder if that is what the great cloud of witnesses from Hebrews is calling to you and to me. "Go for it. Don't settle. Take it all." Sometimes the older we get the more settled we become. Life has taken on familiarity and a youth-oriented culture moves so much faster that it's easy to take the (s)low road. But somehow reading these passages, I want to go farther and reach higher. I hope you do too.

Life is meant to be relished. Life is meant to be lived fully and freely because we have the promise of Jesus - "In this world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

I believe our lives will be much more honoring to God if we spend them walking further than trying to live safe. My prayer today is that we will all - myself especially - be radically stretched to the glory of God.

Start walking!!!

Deck Building

Billy and I decided to build a deck onto our house to take advantage of the lake view behind us and add a little outdoor living space to our home. We drew up some plans, hired a carpenter and the deck is now officially 'decked.' We wanted to make sure we made it 'big' enough and so we measured and walked around and yet we didn't quite 'envision' what it would REALLY look like. It's BIG - bigger than we imagined.

I think life is a lot like that. We imagine a lot of things that we think would make our lives better or happier. We think we know what we're doing or pursuing yet our minds cannot really wrap around the scope of what is not presently there. Like my deck. When we walked around on the ground floor trying to measure off how big we wanted it and even after we put feet and inches to it, we still couldn't 'see' it because it wasn't there yet.

God has a plan for our lives according to Jeremiah 29:11. He says that plan is abundantly more than we could imagine according to 1 Cor. 2: 9. In the spirit world our lives have more purpose and more power than we can imagine. We can't see it. We can't see how our circumstances - both the good and the bad - have the potential to reflect God's glory. We have no idea how our seemingly inconsequential choices impact the kingdom. We can't understand how our pain and our suffering can possibly have anything to do with God's purposes when He can do anything.

This past Sunday we were studying the period after the resurrection and shaking our heads at how the disciples did not believe Jesus' resurrection even after He had told them He would be crucified and He would rise from the dead. They said - "not till we see Him for ourselves." And so He obliged but with an admonition - "Greater are those who believe and do not see."

I've always found myself feeling smug when I read that.....because hey, that's me! But the veil lifted for a few minutes in class that morning as I realized how little I believe Him when it comes to living out this life. He has given us immeasurable promises about the life we live and the life to come and yet, I mourn my losses and lament my shortcomings. I trust Him for what I see and hang on with my little faith while never daring to believe the great things He is accomplishing in the world I can't yet see.

I hope you 'get' that. He told them He wouldn't stay dead and it was too farfetched for them to grasp with their limited minds. He told us we are deeply loved, filled with His spirit, have a heavenly home, a glorious inheritance and abundant life and yet we LIVE such mundane lives. Continually comparing ourselves to others, worrying about what hasn't happened, harping on what has and walking down our own Emmaeus roads bemoaning how life has not turned out the way we had envisioned it. Just like those disciples, Jesus is walking along beside us saying, "There is more than you are seeing. There is more than you are experiencing. There is more than what you believe to be your reality." Perhaps He is even saying, "YOU are more than you are seeing. YOU are more than your experiences. YOU are more than your reality."

I now walk on an unfinished deck that is real...and big. I am anticipating many hours of enjoyment with my family on it. But more importantly, I stand on the promises of a God who cannot lie and never fails. I can't see it and even the scriptures say my mind can't grasp it. My life too is unfinished but I know this......I want to go out believing Him for a lot more than I've given Him credit for in the past. "Behold, He is making all things new!" I am anticipating that mindset will bring abundant living.

"I believe. Help my unbelief."

The Rest of the Story

My niece insisted that I tell you how the snake story played out. I'm a sucker for my kids so here goes. I told you that I did my part to ensure a 'snakeless' night. I cranked the cold air down, put my slippers up high and the light switch in easy reach. I prayed and asked the Lord to leave the snake out and to let me NOT have to go to the bathroom all night so I wouldn't have to get up. Well....within the hour - wouldn't you know it? I had to go. I turned on the light, put my slippers on IN the bed and slowly made my way across the room turning on lights all along the way.

As I sat on the commode with my feet UP, I said, "Lord, I'm so disappointed in you." Some of you are laughing and some of you are aghast but hey! in the middle of the night with a snake hanging around, the room at 50 degrees and no man around to be my hero, I didn't think it was too much to ask of My Beloved who can do all things and with whom nothing is impossible. Besides, He knew what I was thinking. Personally, I think He was laughing (because He already knew the snake wouldn't come in all night).

Ever been there? Have you asked the Lord for something and He didn't come through for you?
Prayed for a beloved child only to have them.....rebel, die, make bad choices?
Prayed for a job and lost out?
Prayed for a job and got laid off/fired/overlooked?
Prayed for health and got worse?
Prayed for a relationship and it ended?

I don't think one of us can't relate to some of the above. I have thought about this so many times since my own son went to heaven. My disappointment did not stem so much from Justin's death as the certainty in my heart that my God could do all things and He allowed this to happen. Disappointment with God is a cold, hard blow to the trusting child.

Back to the snake. God knew what I did not. He didn't have to answer the bathroom prayer because He answered the bigger one - the snake didn't come into my room. I just didn't know it. Could the same be true about my Justin? He didn't answer the safety prayer because He answered the bigger one - that Justin would love and serve God with all His heart? What about you? Did He answer your bigger prayer and you just haven't seen it yet?

Disappointment with God is a reality for those of us who live in this world and seek the one above. It would behoove us to admit our disappointments and allow the God who loves us completely - though we see through a mirror dimly - to bring us to a greater place of trust. I for one will never forget the lessons of the snake.

Wait on God beloved. He will answer in His timing. He will not disappoint. His answers may - but He will not. While He allows your circumstance, He is working out your eternity. Just like that long night worrying about a snake - morning came and showed me that my fears were groundless. So too one day this long night will give way to dawn and we too with unveiled eyes will behold the glory of what He has been working out for our good.

On Retreat, Women, Snakes and God

I just returned from a three day retreat at beautiful Pine Cove in Tyler. The leadership team from the church had prayed and planned for many months and yet their numbers were down. Blame the economy, the time of year or the speaker but nonetheless they continued to pray and plan for those who did come.

Three day retreats are rare and wonderful. No one has the time for them anymore and yet something sacred happens the second night after the women have had the time to really rest in God and His word and take the time to get to know one another spiritually. This retreat was no different. Despite...or maybe perhaps because of their small number these ladies came prepared. From the first night they grasped hold of the concepts that God had for them and planted them down deep in their hearts.

On the second night the leadership team had a communion and foot washing service. They warned us ahead of time in case we were not comfortable and gave us an out. But it was a moving, beautiful and sacred moment. As we quietly sat soaking in the love of God for each of us and the love that outflowed onto our sisters one of the ladies came back in from a quick run to her cabin and told us a large snake was outside my cabin door trying to get in. It was like a dash of cold water but it was also a reminder of where God is doing a work there is an enemy prowling around.

The lady who discovered the snake said she knew this was the time of year that snakes come out and are aggressive so she had been on the lookout all weekend. Had she not been, she would have stepped right on him. Since it was by my cabin that he was discovered, I turned my air conditioner to freezer level, cranked the ceiling fan to high, put my slippers on the bedside table, got the quilts off the extra beds and put them on mine and prayed for the snake to stay out and for me to not have to get up all night to go to the bathroom. Snakes don't like cold and I wanted to make sure he wouldn't like my room AT ALL.

Heads up!!! There is an enemy prowling around. He waits till the dark to slither out and seeks for a crack to sneak in. We need to be alert to his ways and watch for where he tries to gain entrance. Once alerted we need to do whatever we need to do to keep him OUT - ie reading God's word, fellowshipping with like-minded believers, memorizing key scriptures, speaking the truth in love, etc. You see, he doesn't like a mind fixed on God. He doesn't want us surrounded by believers. He wants us alone and vulnerable so he can attack us, frighten us with his lies and deceive us.

I read a pithy little saying that I will close with:

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the ground in the morning the enemy says, "Oh crude, she's up!"

May The Words of My Mouth

Having grown up in church, experiencing the ups and downs of church life and being on the hunt for a new church home in our new town, I discovered something really fascinating about myself this morning. I have been traveling a lot with Billy lately and we are with a lot of people who also love the Lord and are in the same life situations that we are in so the talk often turns to churches and ministry. As I was thinking about that this morning I realized that we always talk about CHURCH. That topic encompasses denominations, practices, doctrine, the peculiarities of people of different faiths - including our own - and basically our own desires in a church. But this is what hit me - we never talk about GOD. Church. Denomination. Practice. Religion. Personal preference (which of course includes personal grievances).

It was an epiphany for me. What were we thinking? GULP - what was I thinking?

Church is a bunch of people. Plural. Each one with their own baggage. One may have a duffel bag of church legalism. One may hold a carry-on of charismatic display. Another a make-up case of "put on a pretty face." Still another a briefcase of criticism from a background of pain. Regardless - whenever our focus is the church it's no wonder the conversation turns petty.

I had a wonderful ten years in a church that left me carrying a trunk of comparison. I wanted every church to measure up to that one. Just as stupid!! Because I found myself highlighting the church/people yet again.

I follow the blog of a little baby that has a faulty pathway in his heart that is causing his heart rate to beat at a speed that is dangerous to his life. The doctors are using a laser to try and destroy the bad pathway so his electrical impulses are forced to use the one that is healthy. I asked the Lord to send a coal from the altar this morning to touch my lips. To purge me of talk about the church and to redirect my speech to HIM.

Wouldn't that be radical if we all forced ourselves away from church talk to God talk? To espouse Him and His radical ways - which by the way, includes His over-the-top love for us! To speak of grace that covers our sin - every day. To remind one another that He sees us not as we are but as we will be. To bring up short fears and temptations. To bring to the light the things the enemy shrouds with shadow.

I hope you will join me in redirecting your speech. What a worthy aspiration - to live our lives from this day forward telling of His greatness!!!

Easter, 2009

I have fallen in love with a new song and for once it really is a new one. Usually I finally hear one and like it but this one isn't even out yet. I found it from a blog I follow belonging to another mom who lost a child whose husband happens to be a recording artist. So I really am in on the ground floor for once.

Anyway...the song is called Unredeemed. It is about all the troubles that besiege us as humans on this planet - broken lives, relationships, hurtful words, etc and how none of these will be left unredeemed. Don't you love that thought?

During this Easter week we need to know Jesus as Redeemer. More than redeeming us from death unto life, He will redeem all the consequences of sin upon our world. Everything. The curse will be vanquished. The earth and man will finally be set right. It is finished! The pronouncement has been made - the reality is sure. We await the execution.

That's what we really celebrate at Easter. Redemption. It means to be bought back. We were bought back - from the garden of Eden's fall and its consequences to a perfect state - with the blood of Christ. He paid and paved the way for us to be declared righteous, holy and spotless before a perfect God. What law could not do, the blood of Christ accomplished. That's why the cross is so beautiful to us. That place of intense suffering and death is our ticket home.

He died for YOU! That's how much He loves you. We all need to get hold of that truth. Because once we really believe that about ME, we will live differently. We will live confidently. We will live gratefully. We will live expectantly. And that is all He wants - a life lived abundantly. Believe.

Thank you Jesus!

Little By Little

Prior to the children of Israel entering in to take the Promised Land, God tells them He will allow them to take it "little by little" (Deuteronomy 7: 22). I always thought that was a "non-God" plan. I mean really.....God could take it once and for all and be done with all that fighting. I like BIG, flashy and over-the-top, in-your-face drama, don't you? Yet notice my wording above - it looked like a "non-God" plan to me even after reading that GOD WAS THE ONE WHO SAID IT.

Too often we are like that. We want a one-prayer dramatic answer. We know God is up to it. He can do all things. And really friends, we are an impatient people - how long will our prayers hold out if we get a 'little by little' answer? Often we just give up. We settle for a 'little bit' of an answer and move on. Israel did the same thing. They got tired of the fight and settled for partial occupation of a land that God had already ordained to be TOTALLY theirs - "wherever your foot treads." Can you blame them for getting tired? Can you blame them for deciding that 'this is enough?' Can you understand their desire to just want to be comfortable and enjoy what they had?

Oh, I think I can. More than once I have settled. More than once I've been SO disappointed that God didn't give me or someone I loved total and complete victory immediately. My disappointment was because I KNEW He could. It didn't have anything to do with my faith but it had everything to do with my trust. You see knowing He CAN is very important to Him. Our faith is the greatest gift we can give Him. But believing He can and trusting His answer/timing are two different things.

That is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. It marks the difference between the childlike faith and the maturity of a disciple. Children believe and trust but they throw fits. The instances that don't work out the way they thought they would tend to damage their psyches. They develop fear and insecurity issues.
Too often believers do that too. They believe but when the God they believe in doesn't do what they want/think/need and TOTALLY believe is necessary, they develop all kinds of trust issues - fear, depression, anger, insecurity, etc.

It takes maturity to step back from your prayers/needs/hopes and know that God knows best. To know that He's not here to make you or me comfortable and happy. To really believe that He can do all things, He loves us and His ways are perfect and right - however He chooses to answer.

I have a friend who likes to say when times are tough, "you need to put on your big girl pants." This is one of those kind of lessons. Big girl/boy. We live in tough times and God's word is clear that the mark of a believer is his/her perseverance. Now is not the time to falter because we don't get prayers answered 'our' way. Now is the time to grow up and trust His answers are the best for us. Little by little we trust. Little by little we grow. Little by little we overcome. And little by little His coming is near.

If I could believe His answers (all of them) are best as much as a I believe He can do all things, I would be much happier/stronger/more peaceful - you name it. So would you. So the next time you feel like throwing a fit or throwing in the towel, remember 'little by little' He is bringing you to the place of Promise. A place where all your dreams and hopes and desires will be answered in a way that is much bigger than you could have imagined. I'm praying for you!

Our Justin

Today marks the fourth anniversary of our Justin's homegoing. Each year this month has been incredibly difficult. This year for the first time we have felt an abiding peace. I woke up this morning to birds singing and in my half-awake state began to give God my sorrow and replace it with His joy.

Sorrow that Justin is not with us.
JOY that Justin is with Jesus.
Sorrow that every event is tempered by his absence.
JOY that we will all be together again.
Sorrow that he never got to marry or have children.
JOY that Justin no longer has to deal with the earth or the flesh.
Sorrow that he is not in my arms.
JOY that Justin is surrounded by love and joy and peace.
Sorrow from parents' and siblings' broken hearts.
JOY that by faith we can be healed.
Sorrow from time that steals memories.
JOY that we will have eternity to make new ones.

Each year I try to intentionally thank all of you who have helped us along this pathway that was so unexpected, dark, long, frightening and at times nearly the death of us. You were God's hands, feet, voice and love to us and we will never forget it. I know God has not either. It is stored up for you as treasure in heaven.

So thank you friends. One day when we all get to heaven those of you who never knew Justin will get to meet him and I'm quite sure he will thank you for helping his family recover. And those of you who did know him - who know the great loss - will celebrate a great reunion.

"Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning."

Juxtaposition

Here is our word for the day! Don't you love it? So big...so unusual....so hard to use in a sentence. It means "the act or the art of placing two or more things side by side." Or as we would say in E. Texas (where apparently my brain still IS) "linin' up stuff."

Anyway....I digress. This weekend I did a one day event at a precious little Methodist church in Perry, Texas. The church is 135 years old and set out in the middle of farmland with huge white clapboard and black shutters. Really girls, it was stunning. I spoke to these women about reading God's word, writing it on your heart and closed up with "counting it all as joy when you experience trials." It was interesting/fascinating to hear the words that came out of my mouth regarding trouble. I heard such faith and hope and joy. I surprised myself (grin - that does happen to speakers). I felt such a peace afterwards to know that deep within my spirit I really was OK. But then......

I went to my mother's house to visit with my stepdad. There sorrow descended like the night. He gave me some more things of Mother's - her quilts, her cookbooks and her PURSES. Is there anything more personal than a woman's purse? I went through them very slowly - you never know what a woman may leave in her purse. And I found kleenex. Kleenex. Pretty benign. Yet......they were crinkled like my mother would have grabbed them to place in her purse. It undid me. I think one of the cruelest parts of the loss of someone you love is 'stuff' like this. I always find myself asking, "how can this still be here and they are gone?"

So therein lies my juxtaposition. Two things laid side by side - my hope and my loss. It spoke to me. I am learning that this is the life of a believer. There is a continual tension between what we know and what we are experiencing. A juxtaposition. They don't look similar so there is a tension. But one or the other will be our defining. Loss is real. Many of you are experiencing loss right now - it may not be a death but a job or health or money or a dream. It's still loss and it still requires that we lay hope alongside it for us to be balanced and healthy.

I am beginning to think we must learn to treat these two not as antagonists but as friends. One causing us to lean more heavily on the other. Because in truth, our hope is the truer and stronger reality. God is greater than our fears, our loss, our disappointments and our unknowns. Hope is the known. He is our hope and hope does not disappoint. Oh, maybe in this life we will 'feel' disappointment but for sure not in the next. And that is the one that matters because it is eternal.

In this period of history where instant gratification has come back to bite us, it is worth holding on to the truth of God's word that "weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning." Hold on believer. Persevere. Lean on hope. Learn to walk with your losses. And look forward to the sight of your faith.

I love you. Have a great week.

Spring is Coming!

We had our first warm and sunny weekend and everywhere we went people were out in their yards. WalMart and Home Depot were super busy with people buying fertilizer and yard tools. After the long, dark winter we are ready for the promise of color and life that spring brings with it.

There are always signs that spring is coming - the tendrils on the trees and shrubs begin to sprout and the air itself gives off a sweet aroma. But the meteorologists would also tell you that a predominant sign is volatile weather which is caused by instability - warm and cold air colliding producing violent thunderstorms and tornado season. I noticed that with the arrival of a warm weekend most people wanted to be outside and they knew that work had to be done on their flowerbeds and yards. They seemed to instinctively know that in order for spring to have its full effect preparation was necessary. Old mulch moved, weeds removed, pruning and planting had to be done. Billy took the top of the dead grass off our lawn and lo and behold there was much green beneath.

The same is true for us. We want our lives to be vibrant and rich in Christ. That will mean preparation for us. Some things need to go and some things need to be added. Sometimes our warm expectations will meet cold realities and violent storms will erupt. They won't take us by surprise if we have prepared our beds with the fertilizer of God's word and the tender covering of His fellowship.

Spring is coming! Your life is preparing to bear fruit for the Master Gardener. He is overseeing your garden with great love, mercy and kindness. He is washing your tender leaves, lifting your head to the Son and allowing into your life enough trouble to cause your roots to go deep. Your life will then be a fragrant aroma of Christ to a hurting and lost world. But it will take preparation on your part. Press in close to Him today. Give Him your life anew. Embrace it all - the good, the bad, the hard and the easy. Learn from Him. Trust Him. Make each day an opportunity to dig your roots deep. He loves you so much and it is to His glory that you bear much fruit!

Daddy's Girl

Billy and I grew up in Garland so when we moved to Rockwall last November, it was a little bit like coming home. Since we were coming back childless, we wanted to really change up our lifestyle and one of those changes involved living on the lake and buying a boat. Here she is!

I named her Daddy's Girl. Couple of reasons for that. First of all, I was able to buy her because of my earthly daddy's generosity. And because it is not something we would have been able to do for ourselves, I wanted to honor him.

Secondly, every good and perfect gift is from above. My ministry has always been about a love relationship with Jesus. Especially in my early ministry I would bring a tiara to my retreats and teach about God our Father who is the King of Kings which makes us, his daughters, princesses. So I also wanted this little pontoon boat to be a witness of who I belong to.

God is good. He is good when you get a boat and He is good when you bury your parents. He is good when the economy is great and He is good when the economy goes south. He is the giver of all good things. Sometimes it's really obvious that something is 'good.' Other times it's not so clear. My boat looks like a really good thing. However, if I go out and kill myself on it, you will all say, "Oh that wasn't good." Same thing with the death of my parents and Justin. On this side of time, I think it's not a good thing. However, if I could get my parents' and son's perspective I would have a whole different outlook. The current economic situation looks bad, but again....we don't really know that until we have God's perspective.

How then are we to live when even what seems clear is not? I'm still learning that but naming my boat was a start. We are to be witnesses. We are to live in a way that honors Him. That starts with having a grateful heart because we KNOW He is good. The circumstances may not be good. You may not feel good. Things may not look good. But the God who holds us in His hands, who died to save us and lives to intercede for us is not bound by circumstance or feeling. He is bound by His word and His character and He will not fail us.

Psalm 40: 1-3

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what He has done and be astounded. They will put their trust in the Lord."

I caught something this morning when I read this familar psalm and I wanted to share it with you. Notice with me that God lifts us from the pit of despair and sets us on solid ground. But also notice - He has to steady us after we get there!! Isn't that interesting?

I know that after my Mother went to be with the Lord I felt unsteady. I felt like the ground I walked on was shifting beneath my feet. The constant in any child's life - and I guess it doesn't matter the age - is your parents. With both mine gone in such a short space of time, I guess that's why my eyes tarried on the fact that He steadies us on solid ground.

There are many things that pull us, throw us or cause to be in a pit of despair. Some of us just jump in and others are blindsided by it but the pit is deep and dark and full of mire that causes our feet to be stuck with quicksand-like mud that makes walking difficult. Maybe - like me - you have been in that pit for so long that you have gotten used to walking with mud on your feet and as it begins to fall off you need a steady hand to help you walk again. That's what God is telling us. He will pull us out. He will set us out. He will clean us out. It's all about Him. He's the Savior. He's the pit-rescuer, foot-steadier and song-giver. And when it's all said and done - He will get the glory.

I'm just taking some baby steps outside the pit. I need that strong right arm to uphold me. I need the lifter of my head to point me to the Sonshine. And may I just add this to the sore of heart today. I don't know that I even cried out to Him. I was so deep in my pit of grief that I didn't care to leave it. I think He just wooed me with the light to raise my head just enough to see the hand He offered to me.

Beloved, He is the lover of your soul. He not only knows where your pit is, He is already there to facilitate your rescue. A new song awaits you. A steady road is ahead. Wait patiently for the Lord. He is the fulfiller of all He has said. And when it is all said and done - others will come to know Him because of your rescue.