Monday, March 30, 2009

Little By Little

Prior to the children of Israel entering in to take the Promised Land, God tells them He will allow them to take it "little by little" (Deuteronomy 7: 22). I always thought that was a "non-God" plan. I mean really.....God could take it once and for all and be done with all that fighting. I like BIG, flashy and over-the-top, in-your-face drama, don't you? Yet notice my wording above - it looked like a "non-God" plan to me even after reading that GOD WAS THE ONE WHO SAID IT.

Too often we are like that. We want a one-prayer dramatic answer. We know God is up to it. He can do all things. And really friends, we are an impatient people - how long will our prayers hold out if we get a 'little by little' answer? Often we just give up. We settle for a 'little bit' of an answer and move on. Israel did the same thing. They got tired of the fight and settled for partial occupation of a land that God had already ordained to be TOTALLY theirs - "wherever your foot treads." Can you blame them for getting tired? Can you blame them for deciding that 'this is enough?' Can you understand their desire to just want to be comfortable and enjoy what they had?

Oh, I think I can. More than once I have settled. More than once I've been SO disappointed that God didn't give me or someone I loved total and complete victory immediately. My disappointment was because I KNEW He could. It didn't have anything to do with my faith but it had everything to do with my trust. You see knowing He CAN is very important to Him. Our faith is the greatest gift we can give Him. But believing He can and trusting His answer/timing are two different things.

That is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. It marks the difference between the childlike faith and the maturity of a disciple. Children believe and trust but they throw fits. The instances that don't work out the way they thought they would tend to damage their psyches. They develop fear and insecurity issues.
Too often believers do that too. They believe but when the God they believe in doesn't do what they want/think/need and TOTALLY believe is necessary, they develop all kinds of trust issues - fear, depression, anger, insecurity, etc.

It takes maturity to step back from your prayers/needs/hopes and know that God knows best. To know that He's not here to make you or me comfortable and happy. To really believe that He can do all things, He loves us and His ways are perfect and right - however He chooses to answer.

I have a friend who likes to say when times are tough, "you need to put on your big girl pants." This is one of those kind of lessons. Big girl/boy. We live in tough times and God's word is clear that the mark of a believer is his/her perseverance. Now is not the time to falter because we don't get prayers answered 'our' way. Now is the time to grow up and trust His answers are the best for us. Little by little we trust. Little by little we grow. Little by little we overcome. And little by little His coming is near.

If I could believe His answers (all of them) are best as much as a I believe He can do all things, I would be much happier/stronger/more peaceful - you name it. So would you. So the next time you feel like throwing a fit or throwing in the towel, remember 'little by little' He is bringing you to the place of Promise. A place where all your dreams and hopes and desires will be answered in a way that is much bigger than you could have imagined. I'm praying for you!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Our Justin


Today marks the fourth anniversary of our Justin's homegoing. Each year this month has been incredibly difficult. This year for the first time we have felt an abiding peace. I woke up this morning to birds singing and in my half-awake state began to give God my sorrow and replace it with His joy.

Sorrow that Justin is not with us.
JOY that Justin is with Jesus.
Sorrow that every event is tempered by his absence.
JOY that we will all be together again.
Sorrow that he never got to marry or have children.
JOY that Justin no longer has to deal with the earth or the flesh.
Sorrow that he is not in my arms.
JOY that Justin is surrounded by love and joy and peace.
Sorrow from parents' and siblings' broken hearts.
JOY that by faith we can be healed.
Sorrow from time that steals memories.
JOY that we will have eternity to make new ones.

Each year I try to intentionally thank all of you who have helped us along this pathway that was so unexpected, dark, long, frightening and at times nearly the death of us. You were God's hands, feet, voice and love to us and we will never forget it. I know God has not either. It is stored up for you as treasure in heaven.

So thank you friends. One day when we all get to heaven those of you who never knew Justin will get to meet him and I'm quite sure he will thank you for helping his family recover. And those of you who did know him - who know the great loss - will celebrate a great reunion.

"Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning."

Monday, March 16, 2009

Juxtaposition

Here is our word for the day! Don't you love it? So big...so unusual....so hard to use in a sentence. It means "the act or the art of placing two or more things side by side." Or as we would say in E. Texas (where apparently my brain still IS) "linin' up stuff."

Anyway....I digress. This weekend I did a one day event at a precious little Methodist church in Perry, Texas. The church is 135 years old and set out in the middle of farmland with huge white clapboard and black shutters. Really girls, it was stunning. I spoke to these women about reading God's word, writing it on your heart and closed up with "counting it all as joy when you experience trials." It was interesting/fascinating to hear the words that came out of my mouth regarding trouble. I heard such faith and hope and joy. I surprised myself (grin - that does happen to speakers). I felt such a peace afterwards to know that deep within my spirit I really was OK. But then......

I went to my mother's house to visit with my stepdad. There sorrow descended like the night. He gave me some more things of Mother's - her quilts, her cookbooks and her PURSES. Is there anything more personal than a woman's purse? I went through them very slowly - you never know what a woman may leave in her purse. And I found kleenex. Kleenex. Pretty benign. Yet......they were crinkled like my mother would have grabbed them to place in her purse. It undid me. I think one of the cruelest parts of the loss of someone you love is 'stuff' like this. I always find myself asking, "how can this still be here and they are gone?"

So therein lies my juxtaposition. Two things laid side by side - my hope and my loss. It spoke to me. I am learning that this is the life of a believer. There is a continual tension between what we know and what we are experiencing. A juxtaposition. They don't look similar so there is a tension. But one or the other will be our defining. Loss is real. Many of you are experiencing loss right now - it may not be a death but a job or health or money or a dream. It's still loss and it still requires that we lay hope alongside it for us to be balanced and healthy.

I am beginning to think we must learn to treat these two not as antagonists but as friends. One causing us to lean more heavily on the other. Because in truth, our hope is the truer and stronger reality. God is greater than our fears, our loss, our disappointments and our unknowns. Hope is the known. He is our hope and hope does not disappoint. Oh, maybe in this life we will 'feel' disappointment but for sure not in the next. And that is the one that matters because it is eternal.

In this period of history where instant gratification has come back to bite us, it is worth holding on to the truth of God's word that "weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning." Hold on believer. Persevere. Lean on hope. Learn to walk with your losses. And look forward to the sight of your faith.

I love you. Have a great week.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Spring is Coming!

We had our first warm and sunny weekend and everywhere we went people were out in their yards. WalMart and Home Depot were super busy with people buying fertilizer and yard tools. After the long, dark winter we are ready for the promise of color and life that spring brings with it.

There are always signs that spring is coming - the tendrils on the trees and shrubs begin to sprout and the air itself gives off a sweet aroma. But the meteorologists would also tell you that a predominant sign is volatile weather which is caused by instability - warm and cold air colliding producing violent thunderstorms and tornado season. I noticed that with the arrival of a warm weekend most people wanted to be outside and they knew that work had to be done on their flowerbeds and yards. They seemed to instinctively know that in order for spring to have its full effect preparation was necessary. Old mulch moved, weeds removed, pruning and planting had to be done. Billy took the top of the dead grass off our lawn and lo and behold there was much green beneath.

The same is true for us. We want our lives to be vibrant and rich in Christ. That will mean preparation for us. Some things need to go and some things need to be added. Sometimes our warm expectations will meet cold realities and violent storms will erupt. They won't take us by surprise if we have prepared our beds with the fertilizer of God's word and the tender covering of His fellowship.

Spring is coming! Your life is preparing to bear fruit for the Master Gardener. He is overseeing your garden with great love, mercy and kindness. He is washing your tender leaves, lifting your head to the Son and allowing into your life enough trouble to cause your roots to go deep. Your life will then be a fragrant aroma of Christ to a hurting and lost world. But it will take preparation on your part. Press in close to Him today. Give Him your life anew. Embrace it all - the good, the bad, the hard and the easy. Learn from Him. Trust Him. Make each day an opportunity to dig your roots deep. He loves you so much and it is to His glory that you bear much fruit!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Daddy's Girl

Billy and I grew up in Garland so when we moved to Rockwall last November, it was a little bit like coming home. Since we were coming back childless, we wanted to really change up our lifestyle and one of those changes involved living on the lake and buying a boat. Here she is!

I named her Daddy's Girl. Couple of reasons for that. First of all, I was able to buy her because of my earthly daddy's generosity. And because it is not something we would have been able to do for ourselves, I wanted to honor him.

Secondly, every good and perfect gift is from above. My ministry has always been about a love relationship with Jesus. Especially in my early ministry I would bring a tiara to my retreats and teach about God our Father who is the King of Kings which makes us, his daughters, princesses. So I also wanted this little pontoon boat to be a witness of who I belong to.


God is good. He is good when you get a boat and He is good when you bury your parents. He is good when the economy is great and He is good when the economy goes south. He is the giver of all good things. Sometimes it's really obvious that something is 'good.' Other times it's not so clear. My boat looks like a really good thing. However, if I go out and kill myself on it, you will all say, "Oh that wasn't good." Same thing with the death of my parents and Justin. On this side of time, I think it's not a good thing. However, if I could get my parents' and son's perspective I would have a whole different outlook. The current economic situation looks bad, but again....we don't really know that until we have God's perspective.

How then are we to live when even what seems clear is not? I'm still learning that but naming my boat was a start. We are to be witnesses. We are to live in a way that honors Him. That starts with having a grateful heart because we KNOW He is good. The circumstances may not be good. You may not feel good. Things may not look good. But the God who holds us in His hands, who died to save us and lives to intercede for us is not bound by circumstance or feeling. He is bound by His word and His character and He will not fail us.