Welcome to the month of Valentine's and all things LOVE. I have learned much about the true meaning of agape love from the man God blessed me to spend my life with. I am humbled to tell you that it is BILLY far more than Sherrie who practices and models the love of the Father in our house.
I grew up the eldest of three children and I don't know about all the stuff of birth order, but I was certainly the overachiever, always aiming to please firstborn. My parents were normal parents who loved us and praised us and for some reason - I, above the other two thrived on that praise. I constantly strived to "do" in order to hear those words of affirmation and that affirmation spelled LOVE to me. And while that made me a GREAT daughter, it also made for a girl who spelled LOVE - CONDITIONAL. It was all about my doing. My achieving. My effort. My grades. My popularity. In other words, it was all about me. And ME had to DO.
Along came a young man that I fell madly in love with. I was only 18 but those conditions of love were well engrained in my psyche. I hid my ugliness from him. I didn't tell him what was really going on in that young and messed up heart until one day I let something slip. Don't even remember what it was.....but he loved me anyway. I TOTALLY remember that.
Slowly, as he won my trust, I began to be the real Sherrie. Lo and behold......he loved her. I hope this makes sense to someone. I hope it helps someone. My parents never meant to make me so dependent. It wasn't their fault. It wasn't even my fault. For some reason I took normal praise and developed an inordinate craving for it. And I was the one that equated it with love.
That's the problem with seeking the praise of man. It will always be dependent on what man thinks and what you do. And man is a fickle master. He is never satisfied. It will begin an endless and unquenchable cycle that will circle the pit until you are sucked deep into a vacuum of never feeling good enough. That is no way to live.
On our cruise this past week, we got separated for a few hours. I knew I needed to just sit somewhere and be still and wait. I knew he would be frantically looking all over the ship. Sure enough, I saw his bright orange shirt and he came - sweating and worried - and sat down beside me. Before he could say a word I looked at him and said, "I knew you would find me." And we just leaned into each other.
It is a picture of the God's love for us. Sometimes we get so lost. Sometimes we make such a mess of things. Sit still, beloved because He knows right where you are. Be still and look up. Say into His precious face, "I knew you would find me." Affirm His love for you.
The love of God is a love that is dependent on Him and His nature. He just loves. It has nothing to do with us. What we do. How we act. He loves us period and He passionately pursues us.
If that has never been modeled for you, if you have never experienced that kind of love on planet earth, my prayer for you is that you would accept it and believe it of your heavenly Father. Rest in that. Don't be afraid to tell Him your deepest and darkest secrets. He knows them anyway and has been longing to hear them from you so you would be free. As we bring those 'secrets' out of the darkness and into the light, He shows us that they have no power to separate us from His love.
Thank you my sweet husband......for loving me so, so well these 38+ years. You are a gift to me.
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor power, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I love seasons. Perhaps it is because I am easily bored that I revel whenever a new season comes. Sometimes I think about the possibility of a world without seasons and think how monotonous that would be. God could have done that and we would have never known the difference. Yet in His wisdom and creativity, He blessed us with the starkness of winter that gives forth to the beauty of spring. 
These cone flowers were also in her yard. My stepdad, Shelby was a gardener. He could make anything grow and he packaged these up for me from little seeds and told me how to care for them. I remember him as they grow and spread each year. 
This is the most beautiful of flowers that entered our world 3 1/2 months ago. She is the reason why ruthless pruning of my life is so necessary. Little eyes are watching. All of us have someone watching us. All of us have the opportunity to be beauty to a life that needs to see Christ. I want my life to bear much fruit to His glory. I want to expend my life in such a way that a legacy of beauty is left behind. For that to happen I must be intentional in my living. 
Welcome to the month of Valentine's and all things LOVE. I have learned much about the true meaning of agape love from the man God blessed me to spend my life with. I am humbled to tell you that it is BILLY far more than Sherrie who practices and models the love of the Father in our house. 
Mimi got to spend a few nights here and there helping the new parents; ahem, Mom, adapt to newborn feeding and sleeping schedules. In Brandon's defense, Kylie is nursing and he can't do a lot to help with that! I discovered that sleep deprivation looks much better on moms than Mimi's!!
And of course, we are delighted to see what 2012 has to offer now that a baby has entered our world. And a girl at that. Goodness, they have cute clothes. I really wasn't aware. But I am now and I'm loving it!!
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