Monday, November 30, 2009

Till Death Do Us Part

Billy and I met in May of 1973 at our senior class day at Six Flags over Texas. I was dating his best friend and he made me mad and Billy moved right on in and the rest is history! Six months later we were married on my 19th birthday. It scared my parents to death and left our high school friends at the lottery wheel betting on "how long will they last?"

I was your spoiled first-born, blonde-haired, blue-eyed cheerleader who did well in school and was an overachiever. Billy was the third-born, LONG-haired, brown-eyed playboy who tolerated school and just wanted to have fun! We were both 19 and from markedly different environments.

Several years ago I was approached by a youth group director who wanted me to come and share my marriage "story." I gulped and said I was probably not the one who needed to come and talk to young, impressionable minds with my story. She looked at me with great compassion and said, "Oh, did you have to get married?" That was probably the ONLY thing we did right. :)

We are a miracle. We are a living, breathing example that there is such a thing as true love from puppy love. Our marriage is nothing short of miraculous. I have no dramatic tales of fighting, separations or falling-outs! We started out as dumb kids madly in love with each other and grew to be the closest of friends who are madly in love with each other and the family we have - with God's help - created.

We have survived the best of days: a whirlwind courtship and marriage, the birth of three beautiful sons, watching each other become the godly people we were created to be, starting a ministry together and having the good health to enjoy these empty nest days surrounded by wonderful friends and family.

We have survived the worst of days: putting each other through college, a traumatic job loss, several unplanned and unwanted moves and the relocation of one son to heaven.

This man and I have shared so much together. We have grown up and grown old by each other's side and no one knows the joys and sorrows that have tied our souls together like we do. That is the heart of marriage. But more than that it is a commitment to stay when 'the worst of days' seem to go on with no light at the end of the tunnel.

Perhaps that is the biggest perk to growing old - you learn the light will always come. It may take a while - a long while - but it always comes. He always comes.

I sure wouldn't recommend getting married at 19 after knowing someone only 6 months but I'm sure grateful I did it! Wherever you may be in your marriage today I pray that you will hold on to one another. It is so worth it.

Happy Anniversary Billy!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving week and we are celebrating one year in Rockwall. It is a fitting time to be thoughtful about where we are and where we've come from. Thanksgiving was officially declared a national holiday in order for Americans to look back on our heritage - to remember those early British settlers who chose a hard and rigorous new country in order to have religious freedom. Because of their sacrifices we have the right to call ourselves Americans. Our country is not perfect but it is the best country in the world and many, many thousands of people would give anything to live here. I am so grateful to be an American.

I love our new city. We are close to our children and that is a huge blessing. They drop in on us frequently and meals together, shopping trips, movies, game nights - are no longer rare occurences. What a joy adult children are. We have a new church family and they have been so loving and accepting of us. We do lots of things together and you wouldn't know that we were the new people. We live on a golf course and by a marina. So we have lots of fun things to do.

I have to thank God for Billy's new job. He works for a wonderful company that values their employees in every way. He gets to travel a lot and I get to go. We've met so many lovely people and just this last week as we flew home from Tuscan and I was so sick, one of his fellow employees went to the sky mall store and bought me a neck pillow for the flight home. That's the calibre of people he works for.

We have had much loss and sorrow in the past year also. My mom and dad went home. My brother has had three back surgeries and many complications. My stepdad has a brain tumor. We still mourn the loss of our Justin. And yet, God has been faithful to sustain us, to comfort us, to continue to reveal Himself to us. We are filled with the hope of the day we are reunited. We are living in the kingdom today. We are anticipating with great hope all that God has prepared for us.

This Thanksgiving our children will be with their in-laws and we will be celebrating with our church family/friends who are also 'alone' for the holidays. We have discovered a 'new' life in our 'new' town and it is different. Different for me because I am accustomed to fretting and worrying. My new life - my choosing to live in the kingdom life - is finding joy in the now. Accepting the good in the life I have and refusing to dwell on the difficult. It's not that life isn't hard, it's just that this is not all there is and THAT is what I am the most thankful for.

So I am thankful. Thankful. Thankful. And before I wrap up this post, let me say - I am thankful for you - my friends. You are the greatest. I love you and I pray God blesses you mightily.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Kingdom of God


OK, I know, I know. I'm really behind in my blogging. Believe it or not, it's not because I'm doing nothing, it's because I'm doing SOMETHING! God has gotten a hold of me like nobody's business and I have truly been meditating on it, contemplating it and down-right reveling in it!!! Let me explain where I think the epiphany began.

It was close to Justin's birthday. Always a sad time for me. I seem to stop any hint of forward progress and regress around his birthday, the anniversary of his departure and holidays. I was lying in bed - more like hunkered down with the covers over my head whining about 'my lot in life' when I heard God speak into my spirit, "Do you really think your plan for his life was better than mine?"

I couldn't move and I knew it was God because my spirit seemed to immediately answer for me - a resounding "YES!" But I - the spiritual Sherrie - knew better. I knew that was the wrong answer. I had to come up with something pious and spiritual. Funny thing about your spirit though - it's woefully HONEST. :) So while my woman was attempting to cover over, my spirit sat smugly forcing me to agree - "Yes, Lord. I think my way would have been better."

Ladies, it was a mind-blowing, life-changing moment. I can't say lightening flashed but a light did come on in my spirit. Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew how wrong I had been. How faulty my thinking was. How shallow my dreams for Justin's life and my family's life had been. The audacity of ME! To think I knew better based on what I was 'feeling.'

And what has happened since then has been nothing short of amazing. I have moved from the valley of the shadows into the Kingdom of God. The only shadow I see is His over me! It is miraculous. It is mind-blowing.

You see, the truth of the matter is - I think it took more power to heal my heart and soul than it did for God to raise Justin from the dead! We are so busy looking for the physical "fix" that we don't recognize the spiritual one.

I guess the true test will be the rapidly approaching holidays and one empty stocking. But grief with hope is life-enabling and grief without hope is death to the soul.

Take that word from God to me and allow it to plant a seed in your heart. Whatever you are stewing over right now. Whatever has been allowed to steal your peace or your joy. "Do you really think your plan is better than His for your life?" It begins with honesty and ends with a choice to move from the darkness to the light. It is a conscious decision that will need re-affirming until it becomes habit.

One days these eyes of faith will have sight. Until that day I am seeking Him for all I'm worth. I'm choosing Him - above all else. Just like a little child - my hand is clutched tightly in the hand that will not let me go. He is my all in all.

In my mind's eye I can already envision the day Justin and I will dance like two-years olds down streets of gold to the laughter of One who rescued us from the fall and redeemed us to His glory. Until He calls me, I will faithfully serve Him on this earth - to the praise of His glory. I can almost hear them in unison right now saying, "Bout time, sister. Live!"