The Bittersweet Joy that is Christmas

Because I like to consider myself a decorating diva, there is nothing I like better than transforming my house at Christmas. Please notice the beautiful tree which I am not allowed to decorate. It's true. The diva herself is not up to Billy's standards when it comes to precisely ornamenting the tree. He has a strategy and a plan that has somehow escaped me. But after 37 years of marriage and 38 Christmases I have placed it in his capable hands and I move on to the - AHEM - more important things.

We really have our decorating down to a science after all these years. I leave him to his precision and he leaves me to my decorating. We each do our own thing and stop periodically to admire each other's work. :) It works for us.

It's these life lessons in my marriage that have helped me relinquish a lot of my 'control' issues to the God who has proven Himself to be the best decorator of my heart.

Because our last five years have been marked by a lot of people relocating to heaven, we have made the choice to make Christmas all about family. We do what we can to make our family know how loved they are and that we do not for one minute take them for granted. The presents and the food take a backseat to loving and making time for one another.
"What about Jesus?" you might ask. Good question. While it took our family's relocation from earth to heaven to cause us to focus more determinedly on the family that was left here, it was Jesus' focus on the family He was creating that caused Him to relocate from heaven to earth.
Christmas is bittersweet for us because of the absence of these two. I wonder how bittersweet it was for God to send His Son to a world that would mistreat Him. How bittersweet for Jesus to leave the majesty of heaven for a manger in a cattle stall. To shackle His power in the frame of humanity. To endure the rumors of His birth parents. To be misunderstood and His invitation rejected.

And yet because of the Christmas gift of Jesus, my babies don't have to deal with mistreatments or misunderstandings. With limitations or lack. Because of the Christ child and His willingness to leave the glory of heaven, my loved ones dwell there in absolute perfection, beauty and unfathomable love. So while it is bittersweet that they - and so many others I love - are not here, there is also a yearning within me. A yearning for the perfection that they are now experiencing. For the ability to see Christ face to face. For the understanding of why it's so hard here and what it is accomplishing in the heavenlies.

And so it is bittersweet - because I'm here and they're not. Just like the first Christmas. God was in heaven and Jesus was not. It's a reminder - things are just not right yet. But they will be. One day. He is coming back. Not as a baby in a manger. Not as a poor carpenter. But as the King of Kings. Every knee will bow. Every tongue will confess.

It's quite the juxtaposition. He came so we could go. He gave it all up that we might have it all. He was rejected so we could be accepted. He died so we could live. Bittersweet and joy. A mixture. I think it's fitting and right. I think God understands.

So Merry Christmas my sweet friends. Many of you had a very difficult 2010. I pray that 2011 finds you closer to God, stronger in your faith and filled with the peace that only He can give you. It's bittersweet here, but joy is coming!

GIVE THANKS

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son
And now let the weak say they are strong
Let the poor say they are rich
Because of what the Father's done for us
Give Thanks

It's that time of year...already! I can't believe the speed of time now that I'm older. I can't believe that in the last five years I've said good-bye....to Justin, Mother, Daddy, Grandaddy and Noah. And I can't believe that this heart of mine is writing to you today about thankfulness. Because....I really am. Thankful.

I am thankful that God gave me a baby son that I loved with my whole being. And he loved his mom right back! I am thankful that I had parents who weren't perfect but who loved me and gave me a childhood that was happy. For a stepdad who came into our lives when our Daddy wigged out and loved us and accepted us as his. I am thankful that for a little while we had a grandson to love and envision a future with and to know because of Christ - that future still holds. Just not on this earth.

I am thankful that in Christ no loss is permanent. I am thankful that loss has taught me things that life never could. To love abundantly. To live fully. To embrace...my loved ones and my life. To not look back. To say I'm sorry quickly. To know that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes. To look to Jesus. For everything.

He is my hope. He is my comfort. He is my joy. He is my provider.

I hope you are thankful. Whatever you are facing. Whatever lies in your path today. It does not need to define you. You are NOT defined by the 'what's' in your life. You are defined by the 'Who.'

He says you are beautiful.
He says you are the apple of His eye.
He says He will never leave you or forsake you.
He says nothing will separate you from His love.
He says He will bring good from all things affecting you.
He says you are worth dying for.

Thankfulness - like most everything in life - is a choice. It's an easy choice when life is going the way you want it to. Not so easy when it's not. But it is the entrance to God's presence. "Enter His gates with thanksgiving" the psalmist tells us. In other words - you want a closer presence with Him - give thanks.

So in the still of this pre-thanksgiving morning my soul is at rest. Don't get me wrong - the world is still swirling around me. But my soul isn't. My soul is resting in the One I trust to bring me through the craziness. I'm fixing to put my feet on the ground and all that may change...but for now...I choose to give thanks.

I pray you do too!

WHAT A WEEK!

I just had one of those weeks that...well, that probably most of you have EVERY week. But truly it was different in that it is very seldom that you have a week where almost every day you are being: graded, judged, evaluated or checked-off.

This week I appeared before our elders on Monday night to be allowed to teach a Life Group at our church. Tuesday I had to do a fasting blood test to determine what needs to be done for my health. Wednesday I taught my ladies in Bible study and then immediately drove to Greenville to be checked-off on my sonography skills and then on Thursday drove to Waco to speak at a ladies' event. Something I had not done in quite a long time.

It was the week I had been preparing for and dreading all at the same time!! It's one thing to be busy - it's another to push yourself to live up to the expectations of others.

But here's what I learned about busy, busy weeks. The kind like I had push you to God! I would prefer a busy week in which I knew all I had to do was rely on my skills, my organizational ability and my intelligence to get me through. Those kind of weeks are manageable for me. And often, I plod through with a nod to God in my morning devotions and a get-out-there and get-um mindset. I usually end up getting the job done but leaving a trail of casualties behind me. Casualties of my tongue or my lack of courtesy or simply a lack of noticing anyone else was around.

But when you know you are being evaluated or that you are being pushed beyond your own abilities - you are forced to run to God and plead your case. At least I was! I had no clue what the elders would ask me. So I prayed my brains out...for God to go before me and for me to listen and speak AFTER thinking. Turned out, I didn't have to speak at all. The information sheet I supplied them from my training class answered every question. I discovered I worried a lot about nothing and that God indeed had gone before me.

Still don't know about the bloodwork. Awaiting that response.

Wednesday morning's Bible study brought such a sweet spirit and genuine delight to my spirit that I attacked the drive to Greenville only to come to a dead stop on I-30. I used that opportunity to pray: that I would get there on time, that the babies would cooperate, that the moms would have stamina, that the checker-off-er would be patient and kind, that my brain would function clearly!! Got to the clinic and baby #1 was curled up in a ball! I had prayed against that!! Told the instructor I had prayed against it. Baby #2 was about as uncooperative in where he put his head but I just prayed and scanned, prayed and scanned. It wasn't pretty, but I passed.

Thursday night's group was beautiful, kind and I have no clue if I had any impact on them or not. I just pray that God's word penetrated because I know the vessel He used is weak!

All that to say - weeks like this drive us to God. There is no way when the needs are so great and the outcome so important that we should rely on our own gifts and talents. And yet - truthfully - we should never rely on anything other than His strength and power. Our own gifts and talents are pitiful in comparison. It shouldn't take tests or evaluations to lean on Him. It should become our everyday pattern of living. Because in actuality - every day is a test. This life on earth is a training ground for the life we will one day experience.

I learned a valuable lesson in this hard week and I hope to remember it in the weeks to come. I NEED Him everyday. I want whatever comes from me to be an outflow of what He has put into me. Only then will the world come to know Him. My life hidden in Christ Jesus!

FALL INTO FALL

Well believe it or not - it is OCTOBER and fall has arrived. I don't know how it got here so fast. It's been six weeks since I last posted - I hope you noticed! :) Believe it or not, my life has been SO busy. Who would have thought that in the fall of my life I would be this busy? I sure didn't. I couldn't imagine how I would fill my days after those three little boys left home. They WERE my schedule. But as God would have it - every season has its purpose for being.

Thankfully I have always loved fall. It is my favorite time of the year. I love the colors. The leaves changing and the fruit and vegetables that grow this time of year are vibrant and brilliant in their color. I love that! I love the crispness in the air after the oppressive heat of the summer. It seems like the last days of summer drain everything of life and then the cool air comes with that promise of relief. I just love that! I also LOVE the smell of baking in the fall. Baked sweet potatoes. Pumpkin pies and pumpkin muffins. Apple struesel. Baked breads of all kinds. And SOUPS. I love the smell of a soup simmering on the stove all day long. The anticipation of hot cornbread and that soup!!! It also happens to be that many people I love were born in the fall! My Justin, my mom, my firstborn, my niece, nephew, mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Ahhh, fall is lovely.

So is the fall of life. I love that the busy-ness in my life these days is pretty much of my own making. I pray that I am smarter now about what I say "yes" and "no" to. That my schedule is an indicator of my life - God-centered and God-honoring.

There is a purpose for every season under the heavens. Fall is a good time to slow down. To be purposeful. To be grateful. To breathe deep and to love greatly. I'm probably pretty far from the winter of my life (though only God knows that for sure) so I intend to thoroughly enjoy the fall of my life. I have a feeling it will go by quickly.

Wishing you a purposeful fall!

Agape Love

After a roller coaster week of numbing fear and surging hope our little Noah James (aka Baby K) was born on Friday the 13th at 3:18 pm. He was little but he was a fighter! Born at 26 weeks but the size of a 23-24 weeker, he came out pink, kicking and crying. We were elated and once we saw him - scared to death. He was 15 ounces and 10 inches long. And we were in love! He had his daddy's nose and hair and his momma's fighting spirit! We hoped beyond hope that he would be a miracle to the glory of God.

Going back a few days. His mom's blood pressure was dangerously high. She was being medicated with some serious drugs and was swollen to the point that IV's were difficult and blood draws (which were every 4-6 hours) were almost impossible. She had to undergo fetal tracings 3 times a day and sonograms daily. Each test (8-10 daily) resulted in hope and then fear. On Thursday night at midnight she was moved to the labor and delivery area to do a continuous monitor of Noah because the doctors didn't like what they saw on the shorter strip. She was on oxygen. She had her magnesium restarted. She was exhausted and she was terrified. Many times she looked at me and said, "I can't do this again. I can't do this again." Brandon was beside himself with fear and was totally on track with NEVER putting themselves through this pain again.

Then the doctors said Noah had to come out. They said he was better off out than in and to not get our hopes too high. We prayed. We asked you to pray. We still hoped - not in him or his gestation. Not in Baylor or neonatologists. We hoped in the God who gave us Noah to begin with. And then that little miracle came out - shocking everyone with his fighting spirit. We dard to hope.

And then Saturday morning came. He was struggling and there was nothing left to do for him. So the precious nurses in the NICU removed his tubes, swaddled him in blankets and let his mom and dad hold him and take him to their room to say their good-byes. We were all devastated. Billy and I drove to the hospital beside ourselves that we had to watch our son walk through the loss of a child. As we sat in their room that sad, sad morning Kylie's doctor came in to express her condolences. Kylie then asked, "Is there any reason we can't get pregnant again?"

Billy and I were shocked. After she was discharged from the hospital and came to our house to start her recovery, I asked her what had changed her mind. She looked at me and with tears welling in her eyes, she said, "Once I saw him, I loved him and it was all worth it."

That is agape love. A love that does not count the cost. A love that gives unselfishly. At that moment all I could think of was Jesus and the horror of the cross. When it was over, He must have looked at us and said much the same thing. He loves us. He calls us worthy of the pain, the fear and the disappointment.

It took a horrendous week and a grieving young woman who was a mom for 18 short hours to remind me that love is more powerful than any thing the enemy can throw at us. Love doesn't quit. Love doesn't fear. Love goes for it.

And we will...go for it. Life. Love. Trust. Faith. We haven't lost anything. Noah is just fine and before he gets passed all the way around the loving family that went before him, we'll be there too. Because we have a Savior who agaped us enough to make a way home for us.

So thank you for praying for Noah and for us. We are more than OK. We are stronger. More faith-filled. More in love with the One who loved us first. More confident that this is not our home. More confident that nothing is more important than love.

We love you.

My Heart is Steadfast O God

That is really all I have to say.

Remember

Throughout God's word we will continually find Him telling His people, "Remember.....when I heard your cries in Egypt, parted the Red Sea, sent the Angel of Death. I Am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I will never leave you or forsake you." On and on He reminds those He loves of His constancy in their lives. He apparently reminds us that we are forgetful. We doubt His love. Forget His faithfulness. Choose to believe that we are the ones in control. And so He calls us to remember.

Billy and I just returned from a wonderful trip to San Antonio and as is our custom, we went to the Alamo. For those of us from Texas, the Alamo is a symbol of our freedom from Mexico. It is because of the sacrifice of a few hundred men, women and children that Texas does not fly the flag of Mexico today. Every year in Texas history we would be reminded of the cost of our freedom. How their sacrifice mobilized a motley crew of soldiers to soundly and forever defeat Mexico's vastly superior - in number and strength - army.

As I entered the hallowed grounds I did remember and I was deeply moved by the beauty of the place. Surrounded by a city, this place of great sacrifice has been lovingly and painstakingly restored and maintained by people who also choose to remember. Their remembrance comes in the form of action. They don't just think about a symbol - they actively maintain it in the form of loving service so that others can know and remember too.



I believe it is a picture of how our lives are to be lived. Lives of remembrance of the blood shed that we might live - abundant, free and eternal. It reminded me that my body houses the Holy Spirit and therefore should be a peaceful and beautiful place of reminder for those who come into my presence.

When we left the Alamo, we slowly walked down the riverwalk. Bustling with people and sweltering in the Texas heat, it stood in marked contrast to the place where life was lost.
And then I rounded a corner and saw this
beauty in the midst of heat. Color in the midst of chaos. And I couldn't help but think - "this is how I want to be." A respite in the hectic and frenetic pace that is life today. Beauty amidst the heat of the fire. A stopping place to remember and draw a breath. God is here. He loves us. He proved it by shedding His precious blood that we might live.

Remember the Alamo! Oh yes, but far and beyond.....remember the cross!

Life Preservers

Billy and I are already ga-ga over our first grandson! It is our joy to imagine life with him and so we are already purchasing things to welcome his arrival. Things that will make him more comfortable and things that will prove to him how much he is loved and thought about - before we ever knew him.

Sound familar? God went to a lot of trouble to create a world to cradle his babies! He wanted our home to be comfortable and beautiful for us to enjoy. He wanted creation to teach us about love, joy, peace and beauty. And He created it in such a way that we would also learn to be grateful for the world He gave us and the Creator who designed it.

Our most recent purchase - ahem, as seen above - is his first little life jacket. We have a boat and spend a lot of time going out on it so we wanted to be able to take him out whenever he/we wanted to. Hence the life jacket. Pops was pretty specific about his life jacket. Not just anything would do. Had to have a flotation device that would keep his face and head out of the water in case of an accidental overboard. It has a strap that goes between his legs so he can't slide out of it and a flotation device that makes sure he turns to his back and that his head is supported out of the water. Pretty slick, huh? Gives a grandparent a little sense of security when traversing the high seas - well, Lake Ray Hubbard.

Anyway.....it's not such a big deal. We just love the little fella - already. And we want to keep him safe because the world isn't.

Just like our Heavenly Father. He loved us before before He knew us and prepared a place for us to live life and enjoy the beauty and wonder of His creation. He also prepared a life preserver for us. Jesus. He knew that we would fall. He knew that there would be no way back for us so He provided a life preserver for us in the form of a fully God/fully man sacrifice for our sins.

Baby K will have a life preserver for trips around Lake Ray Hubbard and a Life Preserver for his journey on planet Earth. His mom and dad and his grandparents will make sure he knows about Jesus.

Therein lies our greatest security and our ultimate safety. I pray that you are floating in the safety of His arms. O how He loves you and me.

HIS FAITHFUL LOVE ENDURES FOREVER

Psalm 136 was probably used as a responsive reading in the early church. The history of God's action on behalf of the Israelites would be read by the scribe and the people would respond "His faithful love endures forever." It was a reminder that in every situation in which the child of God might find himself (or herself) he/she could depend on this - God loves you!

It has been a particularly grueling week in my ministry. A precious 11 year old girl went home to be with the Lord after a valiant fight with cancer. My good friend Linda Cooper got a bad report on her PET scan and one last chemo is her option. My friend Virginia found out cancer has returned and one very young friend of Justin's - who is pregnant with her first child is facing lymphoma in her young husband. Grueling. Without a doubt, life is hard.

I suppose that is why Psalm 136 was like a balm to my soul. I have a prayer chain to get out this morning and it sometimes seems as though I have nothing to report but sorrow. And then I read - His faithful love endures forever. I need to know He loves me in sickness and in health. In richness and in poverty. In good times and in bad. He loves me. He loves you.

You can't pin your life on your health....or lack thereof. On chemo or radiation. On doctors or lawyers. On stocks or interest. You can depend on God's love for you. He is faithful in His love. And it is forever.

And His love is RIGHT. Perfect. Without error. You can take that one to the bank. In fact, I hope you do. There is an account for you in heaven. Jesus warned us to store our treasures there for there they would await us. Invest your life in abiding in His love for you. That knowledge - really, it is faith - will undergird your spirit in times of trouble and trial. And whether you find yourself on this side or heaven's side of life, you will experience abundant life.

One cold day in the winter of 2005 a deeply grieving mother stood at the grave of her youngest son and her spirit cried out to God and He responded, "Look around Sherrie. No one leaves this world alive." It was a wake-up call to me that I was not alone in this sin-sick world. Everyone will experience immense grief at one time or another. In the throes of pain, we often miss that truth. This is not all there is. This is not our home. We are simply traveling through.

Help each other. Love one another. Pray for everyone God lays on your heart. Store up for yourself riches in heaven. One day we're going home. Pack your bags now with prayer and faithfulness. With love and grace. With lots of forgiveness and tons of joy. There is a date on the calendar that is set (Psalm 139:16) and in His sovereignty, it is known only to Him. It is for us to prepare for that day today.

His faithful love endures forever.

BEING FOUND FAITH-FULL

I came across a list of principles for living in my study Bible this week and my heart kept being drawn to one of them - Be faithful. I have been thinking about this all week. When I think of the word 'faithful' I think about loyalty. And while I do believe God desires and deserves our loyalty, my heart kept pondering that faithfulness in this context is something different.

What if God desires us to be faith-full - as in full of faith? The word faith in its simplest form means to believe God or to trust God. So an important principle for living is being found FULL OF trust and belief!

So the question becomes - how do I fill my cup? How do I trust Him more and believe that He is and can do all that the Bible says He can do? It comes from a relationship. We are created for relationship. God desires more than anything else for us to spend time with Him. To think about Him. To talk to Him. To enjoy Him. To worship Him. To love Him.

The only way I have found to trust and believe in anything or anyone has been the test of time. There is no substitute for history with people. You know who you can trust by your history with them. By the way they conduct their business, their pleasure and their family. God has recorded His history in His word - and you better believe, it is good and bad and ugly!! He doesn't try to cover up or airbrush a thing!

So being faith-filled comes from a relationship with Him. By sticking with Him through all the trials and wonders because He is worthy. But the benefits to you and me are much greater.

If we lived faith-full lives, we will have peace in trial. Joy in times of sorrow. Calm in calamity. Gentleness in times of harshness. Love instead of hate. Most importantly, we have HOPE. This is not all there is. This world, this body, this life, this relationship......we have a hope that defies the consumerism and commercialism that this world tries to sell us. IT - whatever IT is - will never happen here. But IT is coming! And when we fix our eyes and our hope on that "IT" - the coming Christ, Our King of Kings, an eternal Jerusalem, the redemption of our bodies - we are full of faith.

Colossians 1 says to "set our minds on things above." He is talking about heaven. Set your mind there. Set your hope there. You will become full. Full of a faith/belief/trust that will hold you until that day arrives.

A word of warning: we are leaky vessels. We will have to return to the fountain that never runs dry for refilling. He made us that way. Not to punish us or to remind us of our fallibility. He did it so we would come to Him regularly because He loves us and desires us. So if you can't find me in the days to come, I am probably at the Fountain of Living Water getting my daily fill-up. Hope to see you there!

Happy Mother's Day TO ME

After 28 years someone is having a baby at our house - and it isn't ME! Brandon and Kylie gave me this (see left) for Mother's Day and our precious little baby will be delivered on Thanksgiving!!! We were totally shocked. Totally taken by surprise. Totally overjoyed. What a gift!!! Mother's Day and Thanksgiving have taken on a whole new dimension.

Since most of you know that my family is totally insane - I will share some of the shenanigans with you after the news was announced. Matthew (our precious middle child) went into a deep FUNK. He loudly bemoaned several GIVENS:

1. He and Amy's gift of a darling pink purse for my gift was hammered.

2. He, Amy, Brandon and Kylie were toast on the favorites list now, and last but most importantly:

3. Christmas for all of them was OVER!

Yes, he is mature and totally NOT materialistic or anything.

The next day he came over to play golf with his dad and told us that he had REALLY been thinking about 'the whole baby thing' and thought we should reconsider Christmas since they weren't messing things up by having the baby so they shouldn't be penalized. In his defense - he is the middle child.

Anyway......we are so stupidly happy. Truthfully, I was getting a little sick and tired of hearing about everyone else's grandchildren. (This is where Matt gets it!) So now I can be as idiotically silly and monotonous as everyone else. I am a real trend-follower. :)

I am going to be MiMi and Billy is going to be Pops. Delightful names, don't you think? Anyway......you are all so precious to put up with me - be excited with us and pray for us. We have had some tough and refining years but looks like we have some fun coming. Just like the Lord, don't you think?

I am working on some of those fancy stencils for the nursery: Dial 1-800-MiMi, If Your Parents Say No, Call MiMi, and Who Needs Parents? I Have a MiMi. Catchy, don't you think? Your thoughts and ideas are appreciated (by me, anyway).

I guess I better get off of here. I only have six months and I have a lot to purchase!!! I love you all and prepare to be bored as a gourd. I'm having a grandbaby!!!!

PS Brandon and Kylie - thanks for making me a MiMi!!!! I love you.

Matthew and Amy - I want a whole lot of them. :) I love you too.

BETTER THINGS ARE YET TO COME

In Psalm 78, the psalmist reminds the children of Israel of their rich heritage in the Lord and of His fierce anger at their faithlessness.

They were complaining about the lack of food when God was preparing to pour out manna from heaven on them.

They were complaining about living in tents when God was preparing to give them houses filled with good things that they did not build or buy.

They were complaining about the wilderness when He was preparing to give them the promised land - a land flowing with milk and honey.

They were complaining about what they could see instead of focusing on what God had promised them.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by my prayer chain requests this morning. I am reluctant to even place on 'paper' the huge needs that are out there. Children dying with cancer, a 6 yo recovering from his 6th open heart surgery, mothers miscarrying babies, cancer, cancer, cancer, a childhood friend who lost his son in a car accident, job loss - it is truly mind-boggling the amount of pain that is out there. And if we choose to focus on what we see instead of what God has promised, we too will begin to complain - will begin to lose faith - will run the risk of God's fierce anger.

If I had the ability to go back in time, I would go to the children of Israel and say, "Hold on! Unimaginable riches are coming. Better things are yet to come. He who promises is faithful to bring them to pass." You and I know it's true because it has already happened and is recorded for us to read. But more than read it - we are to learn and to grow in our own faith because of their living it out.

So that is what I want to say to you today - "Greater things are yet to come." Not because I have seen them but because He said it. It is recorded for us to read, to grow, to understand and to believe. The end of your life story is not yet written. I want mine to be one of great faith. Believing God for His best. He has a plan. It's HIS plan. It is for good.

I believe. Do you?

"In this world you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer, I have overcome the world!" Jesus

USE IT OR LOSE

I would like to take credit for coming up with that saying but alas! I did not. I'm speaking of my muscles. I have noticed over the last few months I have been achy and keep getting pulls and strains in my muscles/joints. I mentioned it at my recent physical and instead of the comment about aging - which I expected, she asked if I had been exercising. Ahem. That's a little personal. Wasn't it enough that she weighed me? Anyway - she reminded me that if I don't use my muscles I will lose them. Have I mentioned that I hate/loathe/despise sweating? Nor do I like doing things that are boring and I equate exercise with boredom plus the added detraction of sweat. So I bought myself a bowflex treadclimber on Craigslist. Pretty proud of myself. Got a great buy. Thought if I put the thing in Billy's study, under the ceiling fan, IN the air conditioning and in front of the TV I MIGHT do something to 'use it' and avoiding 'losing it.' Anyway....

I came upon this passage of scripture in my daily reading:

"God arms me with strength, and He makes my way perfect." Ps. 18: 32

It reminded me that God gives us strength in order that our ways become perfect. Looking at the great loss of my life I need to know that God is using that loss and the grief that ensued to make my way perfect. Just as physical exercise makes our bodies perfect so do trials and tribulations exercise our spiritual bodies to be conformed into the image of Christ.

The wonder of it all is while my treadclimber can sit in that study without so much as a thought in that direction, the God who loves us, created us, has a plan for us and is working in us to perfect that plan will bring things into our lives that will force us to flex our spiritual muscle.

I love knowing that He has my life in His hands. I rejoice to know that as big a mess as it may seem from my side of the veil, His side is working it all out for perfection. Not just good. Pefect. I like that.

Let's flex some muscle this week.

TOO BIG TO MISS

In my daily reading I was studying the story of David and Goliath and the commentators made an insight I had heard before but pondered anew. He said that the Israelites saw an opponent who was too big to defeat and David saw an enemy who was too big to miss! Isn't that true of life? It really is all about perspective.

As the proprietor of a weekly prayer chain I am profoundly aware of the size of the enemy that wages war against us. It sometimes seems as though followers of Christ have a big bulls-eye on our foreheads. David was the anointed king-to-be of Israel. He was already called a man after God's own heart and yet God let him stand alone against a nine foot giant. Sometimes we make a mistake by knowing a story too well and David's is a prime example. We skip right to the end - where a young boy single-handedly kills a giant with a slingshot and one stone. WHOA - back up.

He stood up against a giant while the entire army of Israel stood down and watched. He spoke against his enemy - not by taunting, whining, complaining or manipulating. He spoke about the God who placed David in the position to fight. And while Goliath lumbered around in his hundreds of pounds of (probably frightening looking) armor, David quickly ran forward, slung a stone and sunk a giant! THEN the army of Israel was emboldened to run forward and fight!

The body of Christ is waging war against a giant enemy today (by the way - that is nothing new). God allowed it. And He is the same God who stood with David. He is unchanging. Whatever your enemy - be it financial, physical, emotional, relational - it needs to be faced in the perspective of the God you serve. You see - your enemy is too big to miss! I love the spunk of David. He said, "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine who dares to defy the army of the Living God?" In other words - "Enemy! Who do you think you are? Have you see my God?"

Friends, scrub off the bifocals. Take a fresh look at the God you serve. If He put a young boy before a giant, who is to say He didn't allow the enemy facing you today? Perhaps the watching world needs to see your bravery. Perhaps the church needs to hear a rousing reminder of the God we serve. Whatever your opposition today - it is no match for the God we are in covenant with. He has your back, your front, your sides. He goes before you and nothing is too big for Him.

Ready, Aim, Shoot!

This and That

Thought you might enjoy looking at my mom's iris! I am absolutely BEYOND tickled that her irises have been moved from Temple to Paris to Rockwall and have bloomed like CRAZY! this year. Makes me so happy. My Nanny (my dad's mother) had such a green thumb and always had lots of flowers in her yard. Then Mother and Shelby had the most beautiful yards. As our little birdies left the nest we had more time to devote to gardening and it is paying off. We so enjoy seeing them bloom and providing beauty. It is also a way of keeping their memory alive of course. They would be so pleased to see something of their beloved home in ours. Sometimes it's just the little things that make life so sweet.



Easter weekend we had our annual family get-together! So much fun. This is my sweet sister and her little granddaughter, Parker Grace. We love her to pieces. She is all girl and so much fun. The first baby we had the in family for 19 years and she's as sweet as she is cute. My sister is in the thick of nursing school. We have so much fun swapping stories - mine antiquated and hers oh-so-contemporary. I tell her mine are a hundred times worse because we wore those ugly caps!!!

Here is my brother Barry and his wife Tina. You did a lot of praying for him and he is doing great. He's been back at work for about a month and starts regular duty this week. Tina was super at taking care of him - never left his side during all those hospitalizations and many, many, many drives back and forth to Dallas from Sulphur Springs. So we are super grateful for his health and your prayers for them today!!

I would love to post pics of my little family but I am grounded from publishing pictures of them - well, just Brandon and Kylie. Matt and Amy were in Austin this weekend for a horse clinic and missed all the hoop-la! They would probably have cooperated. :(

Anyway, we had a wonderful Easter - shed a few tears for our sweet Justin but know that we know - HE'S A-OK.....we just miss him. That part is so hard this side of the good news of Jesus.

And I can't close a post without saying a big THANK YOU to Him for His wonderful gift of eternal life and the wonder of living without the condemnation of sin hanging over our heads. So grateful.....for this life, for the life to come and for the privilege of having you guys as friends on both sides. Happy Easter!

GUILTY

OK, so here's the thing. I was driving home from Paris on Tuesday and for the first half of the trip I had my praise music on. Got me in the mood to pray, so I turned it off and prayed for the next half of the trip. As I took my exit on Ridge Road, I whizzed off that interstate in full solo praise mode when I looked in my rear view mirror to see the flashing lights of Rockwall's finest - a motorcycle policeman!

I quickly (57 in a 45) moved off the access road to a parking lot and whipped into a parking place. I put down my window, grabbed my insurance card and had the biggest smile on my face - yes, a smile - and yes, I wasn't upset. I handed him that card as he showed me my SIN - right there on his little handheld radar contraption - bigger than Dallas - 57 in a 45. I laughed and said, "I had just exited off the freeway and was just happily singing to the Lord." He said, "Happy, huh?" "Singing to the Lord," I said. "And I guess He is telling me to slow down." He said, "You think you can." "Yes, sir!" says I. And then he thanks me for being courteous. I started laughing and said, "Thank you for being so nice because I deserved a ticket!"

I want to tell you....my heart never even sped up. I was tickled about the whole thing. I was GUILTY as sin. I knew it. He knew it. He had the evidence. I saw it on the dashboard. I deserved the ticket. Wasn't even upset about getting one. D E S E R V E D a ticket. For some reason, he left me off.

I don't think it was because he thought I was cute. He might have been 20 and he was darling. Could have been one of my boys. Truly wanted to pinch his cute little cheeks. Thought about my precious little Josh who is a policeman. I digress.

ANYWAY.....point is. It's Easter week. GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY. All of us. As sin. And for some reason - beyond the fact that He made us and thinks we're cute - God sent His Son to give us a pardon. Getting off made me happy. Made me grateful. Made me want to give that cute little guy a hug.

Getting saved makes me joy-filled. Makes me grateful. Makes me want to praise and worship Jesus as long as I have breath!!!

We got off!!!! He took the punishment. You and me - we're free to live. I could have taken advantage of the privilege and driven like - well, hell. But that would have been a huge disservice to my sweet and generous friend (he's my friend now - Officer Johnson is his name). No, not me. I will try my best to abide by the speed limit (unless I get lost in my praising again).

Same with the life of a believer. We are free to live like - well, hell. But that would be putting to shame the grace Jesus died to give us. Nope. Not going to do it. Oh, like the speed limit thing - I will mess up again. No doubt about it. I have a heavy foot and a penchant for sinning. But I sure don't want to.

Easter. What a wonderfully joyous time! Forgiven. Pardoned. Ransomed. Redeemed. A do-over. A fresh start. A rebirth. All because we are His.

Glory to His name!

BEHOLD, I MAKE ALL THINGS NEW

Trees are budding, doves are cooing, daylight savings time has been initiated and there is a new warmth to the air - yes - it's almost spring! It seems like overnight brown and naked gives way to green and leafy. But it isn't overnight. It is a gradual process that takes attention to appreciate. I believe that is why Jesus said - "behold." It means to take the time to look. Don't just take for granted that spring is coming. Experience it!

So many of us were anxious for winter to end. Winter symbolizes death and barrenness. But it also signifies a time of rest. Winter is necessary. It takes lots of effort to be reborn. The trees and flowers must dig deep and pull up from their root systems. They have to push up through the dirt and toward the sun.

The same is true for believers. There is a time of rest that is good and necessary but there is a time to shake off the lethargy and push toward the Son. To pay attention. Where is God at work around you? What has He gifted you to do? Where is the need? How are you fitted to accommodate it?

In the last five years we have experienced the homegoing of our son, my dad, my mom and my stepdad. Just yesterday our daughter-in-law's father unexpectedly joined them. This has been a long winter. For us. I told Billy last night if I did not know without a doubt how much better heaven was I would say we were cursed. But that is vision-less thinking. Instead I choose to focus on rebirth. Those that I love so much are experiencing what you and I should be living for.

Colossians says to set your mind on things above where Christ is. That would be heaven. We are to live for heaven. It is our goal - our reward. C. S. Lewis says that those who live for heaven are the most useful to this earth. Our goal is not cars, jewels, wealth and material possessions. Nor is it to live forever. Our goal is to hear 'well done!' To live in such a way that lives are changed because of our lives touching theirs.

"Behold" - pay attention. Spring is a gift and a symbol of living! Bear fruit for Him. It is the sign that you are living. Push toward the Son. He wants to make you and me into something new! Not just reworked or upgraded - new! So let's begin today to see the budding of growth in ourselves and those around us and to nurture it. Let's be sensitive to the warmth of the Spirit's touch to ours and fan the flames. May this spring be the beginning of a new day for us. A life lived with eternity in mind.

Tribute to a Great Man

My parents divorced after 28 years of marriage and after two single years my mom married Shelby. He was 12 years her senior but had started a family late so marrying her made him an automatic Grandaddy! He never let her or us forget it! :)

We all called him Grandaddy. His first and last words to all us girls would be, "Sure do love you sweetheart!" Always.

He was the busiest man I've ever known. My mom was slow to make decisions, slow to change and he was exactly the opposite. You just had to speak the thought and he was out the door and at Lowe's. He was the best and fastest painter you've ever seen. He picked pecans for mother, my sister and me every single year for as long as I can remember and he always said, "Sherrie doesn't know that these come in shells." Truly I did not. :)

He was also a meticulous gardener. He could be found on the hottest Temple days trimming the edges of his grass with SCISSORS! No joke. He climbed trees well into his 80's with my mom screaming at him from the house. He got restless leg syndrome and when it bothered him he would just hop up and go sweep the driveway. Can't tell you how many mornings he woke me up at 4:30 am!

One day I was taking him to the dr at the VA Hospital and we drove around forever - and that is no exaggeration - until he told me we could use the valet parking for free! I hit him on the arm and then as we walked in I hit him again for good measure. He said, "I'm going to have to stop by the ER!" He was so funny.

He took care of my mom like nothing you've ever seen. Brought her coffee every morning and that last day he was by her side when she passed on to heaven. He said to her as they rolled her away for the last time, "I'll be right behind you darling."

So now he has gone on to his heavenly reward. Don't guess there will be any painting in heaven but I sure bet he is working the gardens! Perhaps he's just gathering bouquets for when "his girls" come. I know this - he isn't missing us! He's healthy and happy and dancing and singing and praising God and in his timing, we'll be there soon.

We sure do love you Grandaddy! And we sure will miss you......but we'll see you soon.

Snow and other things

Dallas and most of NE Texas got record snowfalls this week and it has been pretty amazing to listen and watch the reactions of the young and old alike. It seems to me that for the most part snow has brought out the best of us. We are laughing, playing, stopping to enjoy the beauty, really 'seeing' the change snow has brought to the landscape, we have had to 'slow' down, we have been grateful and we have commented on the God who made it possible. I know it's partly because snow is a novelty here. We don't get snow every year and it never stays around long enough to really inconvenience us. But man oh man, I sure have enjoyed the last few days.

It reminds me of grace. God's grace flows down and covers us. At the beginning we realize it is a beautiful thing that has covered the ugliness of our lives. Gone are the dead twigs and grass. Gone are the pockmarks and the barren places. In their place is a covering of white. Purity. Loveliness. Light. But too often we think of grace like the melting snow. Thinking that it comes and then it goes seeming to leave a mess in its wake. Not so. The melting snow becomes water that goes deep into the earth and prepares it for the next season.

That's what grace does too. It covers us transforming us from a life of sin and death to one of radiant life. Often we want to hold onto that wonder and excitement of newfound grace and we think something is wrong when the 'feelings' evaporate. The only thing wrong is our thought process. Grace is continually working in us to change us. Long after the 'feeling' of grace is gone, the work of grace is continuing. It has gone deep into our souls transforming us and preparing us for the works God has prepared for us.

I love the snow! I love the brightness and the beauty but I know it won't last forever. It wouldn't be healthy if it did. It will be transformed to water and water to hydration for a thirsty earth and winter will give way to springtime and springtime to summer. There is a time for every purpose under heaven.

So rejoice beloved child of God. Your landscape may be dreary today but begin to anticipate all that God has prepared for those He loves. Slow down and enjoy what God has given you today. Whether it appears to be good or bad - spring is coming.

Focusing on the Promises

The weathermen are promising us a week of 'spring-like' weather in North Texas and I'm excited about that. So far our winter has been pretty cold and while there is no way that winter is over, the brief respite from cold reminds us that spring will come.

We've experienced some winters that were unseasonably warm and there were consequences from that. We had more bugs and the foliage was confused about when to bloom. It taught me that winter is necessary - not just something to be endured. The same is true about seasons of winter in our lives.

Winter - times when our lives seem barren and cold and God's presence far away. Billy and I took advantage of yesterday's warmer weather and did a little yard work. We have several plants that we brought to our new home from my mother and step-dad's home. They were avid gardeners and it is so sweet to have living reminders of them in our yard. I found myself taking hold of the stems and limbs and pulling them close to my face looking closely for signs of life. I saw nothing and I was glad.

You see - it's too early for them to bud. Winter isn't over. For them to bud too early would put them in danger of being killed by a cold snap. And these plants are precious to me.

Think about your life. You are so precious to God. You are created in His image and endowed with His spirit. He has made wonderful and precious promises to you that are inviolate in keeping with His nature. Just as winter is necessary for the earth, so it is for the believer. We need times of dormancy to put our roots down deep. We need to rest from the ceaseless tyranny of our schedules and the overwhelming needs of a sinful land. And in that time of dormancy - as we look for signs of life and see none, we need to take heart. In His time, there will be.

Nothing is impossible for Him and no human can thwart His purposes or plans. He who began a good work in you will complete it. These are promises that we hold to regardless of what we see. He knows that for us to bloom too quickly would put us in danger of injury should a 'cold snap' come.

I was able to smile when I saw no buds on the plants in my yard. I think we should purpose to smile when we see no 'buds' in our lives. We have seasons - just as the earth does. God is at work in you and as long as you are seeking Him, loving Him and obeying Him, you need only trust in His promises and that His timing is perfect. Always.

No season is forever. Wherever you are right now is God's perfect place for you - to learn, to grow stronger, to rest and to emerge with much fruit to the praise of His glory.

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED MY SERVANT JOB?

I don't suppose this is the kind of post you would expect - or want - to see on my first blog of 2010 but I want to take you where God leads me, so here we go.

I was all settled in for a month long study of Genesis in my daily Bible reading when my chronological study sent me to Job this morning. From Genesis 1's perfection to Genesis 3's fall to the drowning of the human race with the exception of one righteous man, Noah and his family, I had just begun to prepare my self to read about the wonderful new beginning of life on planet earth now inhabited by the upright family of Noah when God chronologically took me to the book of Job.

Here is my first point: In the midst of a new start with 'better' material trouble came calling to the most righteous and upright man on earth.

In a new year most of us are plying ourselves with black-eyed peas and resolutions to ward off bad luck. We are wanting to do whatever we can to make sure that nothing bad happens to us.

Point two: God started Job's trouble by drawing attention to his goodness.

Most of our resolutions center around behavior that we anticipate to bring us into favor with God and we equate favor with prosperity. I started to type in 'blessing' but blessing is exactly what God is after. It just may not look like blessing to us on this side of the tapestry. God was proud of Job's uprightness and Job never knew it. On his side of the tapestry, it looked like catastrophe.

Point three: Job's friends equated trouble with sin.

They got it partly right. Sin does bring trouble. Sin also brings prosperity and power - at least for a season. But partly right isn't right. Trouble also comes to good people, Godly people, righteous people. People who attempt to live for God and His glory. The final word was God's and He wasn't too happy with Job's friends or their conclusions.

Point four: God so ordered a daily Bible reading that early in the year we can learn some important lessons about trouble and trust.

God isn't as interested in our comfort as He is in our confidence in Him. Trouble causes us to dig down deep into our reserves. What do we find there? Do we find a history of walking with God and really knowing His faithfulness? Do we find scriptures memorized to pull out for such a time as this? Do we find a will that chooses to trust Him when we can't feel Him? Do we find a heart that believes in His love despite the pain? OR...

Do we find ourselves drifting on a sea of faithlessness? Reeling from the unexpected? With no scripture to hold dear in the storm? A will that is flabby and unexercised in the discipline of making the hard choices? A heart that questions how love could allow or even cause such pain?

It's early in January and the time is now to prepare our hearts for the year that is before us. Stock up on the necessities: prayer, God's word, time with other believers, take an accounting of His faithfulness to you in the past, write it down, relive it. There is a part of me that yearns for God to point me out as His faithful servant and another part of me that wants to run screaming. Oh for grace to trust Him more! And that only seems to come when He saves me....again and again from myself, my mistakes, my troubles.

Trouble is coming my friends. Not to un-do your black-eyed peas or cabbage, but it's true. "Count it all as joy my brethren WHEN you experience trials." "Do not be surprised at the fiery trials that come to you." The Bible is filled with warnings but it is also filled with hope - "...take courage, I have overcome the world."

I want to be found faithful. I know you do too. So what do we do?

I intend to purpose to live in the kingdom each and every day. That will mean sucking the life out of every joy that comes my way. I choose to LOVE life. To love my family and friends. To greatly rejoice in belonging to God and to living in a country where I can read my Bible and go to church whenever I want to. And then when trouble comes to do everything in my power to look for God in that trouble. If it is sin on my part, to quickly repent and if it is not to patiently wait on Him to reveal Himself in the trouble. To know that He has my good and His glory at stake. To know that trouble has nothing to do with God's love for me. HE LOVES ME AND YOU PERIOD. In trouble and out of trouble.

God purpose for trouble is to grow us. Satan's is to get us to question God's love.

That love was settled forever on the cross. He said to us then, "I have no greater love for you than this." So let's settle it here and now! He loves us. He is for us. And let's walk in the victory that is ours that one day we will hear those blessed words, "Well, done!"