Happy New Year

Wow - another year has come and is nearly gone. It has been a year of change for the Kulwicki's. My dad went home to heaven after a very short battle with cancer and my sister and brother and I got to care for him during that time. Billy changed jobs and we moved to Rockwall. My mom fell and broke her hip and shoulder requiring surgery and many, many months in rehab. My sister and her husband are leaving their acreage in Greenville after 11 years to move to a townhouse near George Bush freeway! Some of the change has been fun and adventurous and some has been grueling and painful. Such is life.

We have no clue what 2009 will hold for us but we can be assured that it will be a mixture of good and bad, fun and sad, easy and difficult. So how do we prepare ourselves?

I think the answer is found "in Christ." In Christ we have assurance that He is in control. In Christ we have the hope (rock hard certainty) that all things are being orchestrated by Him for His purposes - and that they are good. In Christ we find our joy and rest and peace. In Christ we are being molded into His image.

In Christ.....that is where I want to be found as 2008 fades into 2009. Not just as in being saved but firmly entrenched - making my determined purpose to abide in Him - loving Him with all my heart, trusting Him with all that is in me and believing Him with a steadfastness born of a relationship that has proven His faithfulness to me.

It will take determination on my part and a resolve to look not at my circumstances but at the faithfulness and power of my Abba Father who is the King of Kings. It is my intent but I will need you to remind me when life hurls 'stuff' at me. It takes a village to raise a child but it takes a church (body of believers) to raise a believer. How about in 2009 we hold each other accountable to be found in Christ - every day, in every situation? If we do so, I believe 2009 will be our best year ever.

What A Plan!

Colossians 1: 15-16 (THB) says "Christ is the exact likeness of the unseen God. He existed before God made anything at all, and, in fact, Christ Himself is the Creator who made everything in heaven and earth..."

And yet He chose to wrap Himself in human flesh and enter the womb of a young Jewish woman putting her in peril of her very life while allowing Himself to be born into enemy territory. What kind of plan is that? All that He could live as we live, walk where we walk, be tempted as we are tempted and die that we may no longer die.

What kind of God is this?

Scripture says He is love. He loved us so much that He sent us His Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. That is the plan in a nutshell. I know I would willingly die for my children. In a heartbeat. No matter what they do or how they act or truthfully....even how they feel about me. I'm much happier when they express their love but their response has nothing to do with my love for them. I think that is a picture of God's love for us. A tiny picture because He has no shadow or impurity in His love for us.

His plan - and never doubt - it was preplanned from before Adam, is one that requires faith. We have to believe Him. We have to believe in Him. We have to believe that we are deeply and immeasurably loved - regardless of how He shows that love for us. We are living in hard times and many of you are going through trials and you might be tempted to throw in the towel.

Look deeply into the manger this Christmas. See the little baby - born to poor parents who were probably as confused as we are - and believe that He came to make a way for you to go home and this is not it. We are aliens and strangers here and what we long for and dream of is coming.

Now we need a plan. A plan that doesn't look at bank accounts or stock options, headstones or hospitals - it is a plan that involves looking up. Up - where heaven is. Up - where our Savior sits at the right hand of the Father. Up - where everything we long for and wait for is prepared for us. Up - where Christmas begins and ends. I love you - Merry Christmas!

Emmanuel

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Parties, shopping, decorations, bells at the grocery store and PLANS!!! You've got to do a lot of planning this time of the year in order to do everything you want to do and get your families all visited and taken care of. I am a master planner. In fact, if I'm not careful - 'the plan' will become my emphasis. I was making my 'plans' this weekend when our son looked at me and said, "How are we going to go all that?" I had such great ideas: cinnamon buns for breakfast followed by gift exchange followed by pictures/puzzles/cookie decorating and then on to lunch, movies and a family Christmas dinner with my brother and sister and their families. I was trying to fit candy making in with my daughters-in-law when it dawned on me that I COULD make it all work but would it really be fun?

I think that is where Emmanuel becomes such a precious reality to us. The name God gave us for Jesus is "God with us." No plans. No preparation. God with us - always, wherever, whenever, whatever. You can be intentional about spending time with Him and experience His presence more fully or you can be unintentional and miss Him or be surprised by Him. For He is always with you.

Our Christmas is really no different than the first one. Everyone was busy with their plans. Caesar Augustus had plans for everyone to go to their birth city for taxation. City managers were planning to fill the city coffers with hotel and dining money. Mary and Joseph planned to check in to a local hotel and deliver their firstborn. Things didn't exactly go as planned. They don't usually for ours either. Humans seem to get in the way of the best of plans.

It's easy for us to look back at that first Christmas and stand in amazement that they missed Jesus. Yet if we're not careful, we'll do the same. But He won't miss us. That was the entire point of God becoming a man. He wanted to live with us - within us. To be with us always. It's an amazing and wonderful gift. And it is our reality. God is with us.

The originator of Christmas is also the originator of families.......man.......and plans. He isn't opposed to any of those - in fact He just wants to be right in the middle of them. That is my intent this Christmas - to center Christ smack dab in the middle of my planning! I encourage you to do the same.

Christmas in a Crummy Economy

If you have somehow avoided a newspaper or television, maybe you didn't know that the USA is in a recession. But more than likely you knew it because it has somehow affected you. Recession could just as easily be summed up in one word - loss. Loss of job. Loss of retirement. Loss of savings. Loss of homes. Loss of sales. Loss, loss, loss. We Americans - the richest of all nations - have learned that the things in which we too often place our trust are nothing more than shifting sand. Of course, we Christians were supposed to already know that. At least we sing it.

When Jesus came to earth - and by the way, talk about LOSS. Paul said it best in the book of Philippians when he said that Jesus 'emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.' Jesus chose loss for our sakes. He bypassed an eternity of glorious riches for a temporary life span on earth. A life span that Ecclesiastes defines as "a mist, a vapor." It didn't change His eternal destiny but it sure changed ours.

Most of us affected by the economic turndown are focusing on the temporary - the things that are mists and vapor. Focusing on those things will take our spirits to where the economy is - in the tank! When our focus turns to the eternal riches that are ours; the inheritance that is promised to us; the infallibility of our God and His kingdom and the immutable truth that "all things work together for our good" and "nothing is impossible with God, " we are more than conquerors. We are different. We are a light in a dark world. We are confident in things unseen.

Christmas is about the incomprehensible. God became a fetus. He limited Himself to the womb of a teenager and a delivery in a stable. Seems like a sweet story unless you've ever birthed a baby. Then you know that being forced to deliver in a stable versus a birthing room surrounded by loved ones and skilled attendants might rank higher on your scale of crisis than the economy.

Immanuel - God With Us - stripping Himself of honor, glory and majesty to come to a world that had no room for Him. Maybe your losses in this recession make you feel stripped....of pride, of self, of honor. Perhaps you are in good company. Jesus did so willingly that we might know - really know - how much God loves us and longs for us. That didn't change when the economy took a nose dive. He is near to you.

Christmas in a crummy economy is forced de-materialization. I think I made that word up. It is being forced to not buy so much. Not shop so much. Not stress so much over what we can't afford and don't need anyway. And focusing on what's really important - people. I'm really sorry so many people are hurting. I'm really sorry so many people have experienced so much loss. But I'm so happy that most of the people I know are more than overcomers in Christ Jesus.

This economy is nothing to God but His concern has never been on the economy. He is concerned about His children. His heart is that we would turn from our obsessive compulsion for things that never satisfy to the rock which will never be shaken. I am praying that we discover the joy of Christmas this year above all others. Share what you have. Open your home. Give. It's the Bible's cure for loss. And discover what Jesus did - joy!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Today Billy and I are moving to Rockwall! We have a new job, a new house and a new town. God is breathing a new song into our hearts and we are thankful. So thankful......not just for the move and the job. We are thankful that He is faithful to bind up the brokenhearted. We are so thankful that a strand of three is not easily broken. We are so thankful to you our brothers and sisters in Christ who are our crown and glory. And we are so thankful that there are no good-byes with Christians. Our location may change but our spiritual bonds are as close and tight as ever before.

Wherever you find yourself this Thanksgiving - home or traveling; with family or without - know you are deeply loved and appreciated.

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say I am strong
Let the poor say I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us

Give thanks

Fall Daze

I took this picture while we were in Virginia and couldn't help but share it with you. We don't often get such magnificent foliage in Texas and it truly was breathtaking. Aren't you glad that God created seasons for us to enjoy? He could have made a black and white world and we would have never known the difference. He could have chosen to make perpetual summer or winter and we would have been none the wiser. But in His omnipotent creativity He gave us seasons to marvel at His artistry.

We happened to be in our nation's capitol on election day and it was interesting to see how diversified our country is. I saw few people who 'looked like' me and heard very little English spoken. At first I was annoyed. I groused about our country being un-American and then I began to realize that our country really looks like its roots. We are a melting pot. We are a place for people to come for a better life. We were always diversified. We were always a mixture of languages and cultures. I was humbled.

Just as God gave us seasons to enjoy diversity; so He gave us one another. Even as a nuclear family, we are different. Same parents; different temperaments. Same household; different experiences. If we can't emerge from one family identical, we surely can't expect a nation of multiple countries of origin to be very similar. Same goes for our churches. We are family because of Christ Jesus and the blood He spilled for us on Calvary. I guess that makes Heaven the ultimate melting pot.

In the garden on that fearsome night when Jesus prayed for our unity the disciples thought their world was falling apart. It surely looked that way. Many Americans have expressed deep fears and apprehension over the election results. But the cross was God's means to the greatest remedy for mankind since creation began. He was totally in control those dark days. He is no less in control today.

With all its flaws our world is beautiful. Stop and savor its beauty. Take in the creativity and artistry of our Creator and pause to thank Him for all He's done. Especially take joy in the diversity of His people. There is no one like you. As good or as bad as you may think that to be - take joy in the knowledge that He created you uniquely and wonderfully for His good purposes - just as He did every other human being. Whether they - or you - choose to cooperate with Him, His plans are not thwarted. Relax, sit back and enjoy the ride.

The Plans I Have For You

I thought I would catch you up on the Kulwicki's.   Billy started a new job in September using the skills that he gained as the general manager of Lamar Electric.  We believe it was a gift to us.  Looking back on the last seven years we see God's hand from his job loss and our move to Paris to meeting Walter Cooper at FBC, Paris who hired him at the co-op to this new position as a regional vice president for Cooperative Financial Corporation.  Because of this new position we are moving to Rockwall where we will be on the interstate, closer to the airport and within 20 minutes of Brandon, our oldest son and his wife, Kylie.  

We began looking for houses in Rockwall and found an area we loved and eventually found 'the' house.  Since our house had not sold we began to pray about what to do and believed that it was the time to buy all the while knowing it was a risky time to sell.  We believe God opened and shut doors of opportunity and we walked through them fulling trusting that He would take care of us - as He has always done.  

So we are preparing to begin a new adventure in our lives and I am feeling the flutterings of a new hope.  It would be an understatement to say that the last 7 years have been horribly hard.  It is not the fault of Paris or the people of Paris.  I have the greatest friends here and will always come back for them and for the precious one we buried here.  But all the same - I am so ready to start fresh.  To have no memories.  To make new ones.  

Many years ago I sat by the bedside of my middle son, Matthew as his little middle-school heart was broken by some little girl and I quoted to him the words of God that are so meaningful to those of us who are called by His name.  "For I know the plans I have for you," thus saith the Lord.  "Plans to prosper you and give you a future and a hope."  I have wondered for 3 1/2 years if there was any hope for people like us - people who have buried a child - on this earth.  It seemed for far too long our only hope was in the world to come.   But today I am standing on His word - believing.   Thank you for loving me in my pain.  Thank you for helping me to believe when I couldn't believe for myself.   I am looking forward to what God has for MY future.  

Taking Care of Business

Just a few short months after losing my dad, my mom (who has been chronically ill with diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis and Addison's disease) fell during physical therapy and shattered her right shoulder and hip.  They were able to do a hip replacement but the shoulder will just have to heal on its own.  I spent 10 days in Temple helping her and my stepdad while she was in the hospital and dealing with finding a good rehab center for her.  Folks, I'm here to tell you - it is more than difficult to be old in our society.  I sat in the rehab center during lunch with my mom and looked around at the elderly people as they ate lunch and thought "my mother doesn't belong here."  Then I looked at her and she looked just like them!  It was sobering and sad.  I am so grateful that we have lots of family in Temple to help them when my siblings and I can't be there.

Notwithstanding the circumstances in my family, there is the political and economic climate swirling all around us with messages of doom and gloom.  As believers we have the hope that is within us - Jesus Christ our hope of glory.  He is still God.  Nothing is impossible for Him and nothing is too hard for Him.  

To fret and worry, to allow circumstances to threaten our peace is lack of belief.  I read a quote this week that said 'the greatest gift humans can give God is to believe Him.'  That would be to believe that the hearts of the kings are in His hands, that nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus, that within Him we have a sabbath rest.  

When God rested on the seventh day of creation it was not because He was tired - it was because the work of providing mankind's every need was finished in six days.  That is why the Christian is to have a continual rest in his soul - because we believe Him that it is indeed "finished."  Everything we need has been provided.  Everything we most deeply desire is prepared for us.  

While it's hard to not dwell on the negative and plan for the worst - the deepest desire of God's heart is that we would trust Him and believe Him that He can and will take care of us.  I have chosen to rest.  My personal mantra these days is "I believe You."   The byproduct?  I have peace and He has my trust.   

Family Reunion!

Our family just celebrated our 40th reunion! My mother is one of ten siblings and her mom, my MamMaw started our family reunion in 1968. She began them and eventually her children took over and so every 10 years one of us has to step up to develop a theme and put the whole shebang together. It is a BIG deal. We have a theme with a backdrop, a coloring contest for the children, a dessert contest for the adults and a silent auction to raise money for the next year. Oh! and a magnet to mark forever on our refrigerators the year of our Ledger Reunion. I have over forty cousins and believe it or not, I know every single one of them and most of their children. Our family has grown like crazy. We are scattered all over Texas but we really try to get back together for the reunion. It accomplished what my grandmother purposed when she started it - we have stayed connected.

It was so much fun in the early days to watch my cousins fall in love and get married. And oh my gosh! when we started having babies - it was insane. There were playpens, highchairs, walkers and diapers everywhere. Now the grandchildren are starting families and we are down to only 5 of the original 10 siblings. My mom couldn't make this reunion - and it was the first of 40 she's missed. I have to admit - it was sobering and a little disconcerting to look across the room and see my aunts minus my mother. Especially considering that we just lost our Daddy.

You can't have a family this big and not have a lot of drama. We've had our share of divorces, marriages, births, deaths and bad decisions. But one thing about family is - you stick together. That's how the family of God is supposed to operate. Every Sunday should be a family reunion. And despite the drama of life, we need to stand by one another. Sometimes we'll cry and sometimes we'll laugh. There will be times we want to yank someone's hair out and other times when we just need to give someone a hand up.

It's all about love. Love binds us together. Love makes us family. Love never fails. Our health does. Our patience does. Our endurance does. But love doesn't. Don't get me wrong. As much fun as our reunions are - we gripe about them up to the moment we walk through the door. But once we start seeing each other.....well, it's worth all the time, expense and trouble. The body of Christ is like that too. Sometimes we just don't want to do it anymore. My MamMaw knew that - that's why she set aside a special day to celebrate family. My Father knew that too - that's why He gave us Sunday.

With the loss of my sweet Daddy and the very poor health of my mom and stepdad, I left the reunion this year so very grateful that no matter what my future holds, I have a family that knows and understands. I am confident our reunions will continue and as elaborate as they are, they are only a faint reflection of the wonder our Heavenly Father has planned for us when we all 'reunion' on streets of gold at a heavenly banquet table. So until that time comes, let's take care of each other. Let's love more and criticize less. Because after all - we're family.

John 13: 35

"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

This weekend was my ten year anniversary retreat. It was the first time I have ever done a retreat where I was in charge of the whole thing and it was a little nerve wracking. There is the whole money thing. The registrants. The room assignments. The food. The decor. The scheduling. ETC. Then you worry - yes, speakers worry - will anyone come? Can I juggle it all?

God be praised it was the sweetest retreat. I stopped counting at 12 churches represented and we only had 40 women there! Yet there was the sweetest spirit of love and unity. Women helping one another. Visiting with one another. Finding points of common interest in their lives. Praying together. Breaking bread together. Studying together. It was a foretaste of heaven.

Our goal for the weekend was to return to our first love. To come back to the understanding of all that salvation meant for us - all that Jesus had done for us for love. He was a smashing success. I have heard from woman after woman that she was washed and renewed. And I give Him all the glory for that miracle.

If you weren't there I want you to know I thought of you. So many churches throughout the years have allowed me the immense privilege of opening God's word to them and especially in those early days, I'm sure I had much less to say than I thought I did. But you are in my heart and I count myself unworthy to have been in your churches, retreat centers and "in your face."
I love you girls. You have filled me with such joy and love as I ministered to you in His name. I do not esteem that lightly.

I don't know what God has for the future of FPM and I frankly don't think about it much. He's done a great job so far despite me. I think I will trust Him to write the rest of my script.

I love you all. God bless your week.

What To Say?

What do you blog about after last week? I spent Friday night in a hotel in Tyler amidst shell-shocked evacuees who had no idea what to expect from their homes on the coast or even when they could go home. I see pictures on the television of the devastation and hear the predictions of months without electricity, running water - much less safe water and the dire predictions of gasoline shortages and price-gouging. Life is so hard.

And yet this morning the sun is shining, a cool breeze is blowing and it seems to whisper, "It's going to be OK. I am still on the throne."

How do you respond to the challenges of life? What do you say when the world seems to be falling apart? There is one plus to aging and that is experience. The longer we live the more we experience the faithfulness of God. There is a wonderful old hymn that says it best:

Trust and obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey.

It is ours to trust Him. Just as the fury of Ike swept through our state on Saturday - Sunday brought the sunshine. Just as the destruction of wind and water reduced buildings to rubble, they will be rebuilt. Just as our hearts sink in fear, they will again sing praises. Why? Because we are created in His image and He is a God of redemption. He makes all things new - including hearts and spirits. As long the human spirit is renewed - so will manmade things be rebuilt.

But we must be obedient. We have to live lives that are pleasing to Him walking in His ways and by His precepts. Therein lies blessing. It's not always easy. Sometimes we want to stay in our own safe corner of the world and pretend it doesn't affect us. But God's word says that when one hurts we all hurt. When we feed or bring water to the least, we do it unto Him.

What to say? Trust God. Obey Him. Do good. Love others. Help where you can. Reach out to those who are struggling. Show them Jesus. You may not know what to say but you know God loves them. You may not have much to give but you have yourself.

Maybe Hurricane Ike will turn out to be a blessing in disguise as we rise above our own complacency to be the hands and feet of Jesus to a hurting world and the world will know that we are Christians by our love.

Psalm 1: 3

"And he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in its season."

It seems I was awakened to a new world this morning. After what always seems to me to be an interminably long and hot summer there is a cooler breeze, a lessening of humidity and rain. And despite the knowledge that summer always gives way to fall, I never fail to be surprised by the change. God's faithfulness to the seasons is a picture of the life of the believer who plants their roots deeply into a relationship with Jesus. As Hurricane Gustav plowed through the Gulf coast states there was a lot of press about uprooted trees and downed power lines. That is the purpose of storms - to uproot and tear down. The trees that are left standing are the ones with the deepest roots.

That's one of our goals as believers - deep roots. Some people believe that deep roots mean a dogged pattern of belief that refuses to budge. But if you have ever planted and tended to a young tree you know that inflexibility will cause a tree to snap. The tree has to have the freedom to bend and sway along with stability to grow strong and upright. Same with you and me. A careful study of God's word will reveal that He rarely revealed Himself to the patriarchs in the same way. One burning bush. One march around a city seven times. One giant with one stone. The greats of scripture never trusted God for yesterday's manna. They sought Him - and were commanded to see Him - fresh daily. Same for you and me. God never changes. His word never changes. But in a relationship - we change. We grow. We learn to respond more quickly to His voice. He entrusts us with more. That is what a living and dynamic relationship is all about.

The second goal is to produce fruit. We aren't meant to just look good or withstand storms. We are meant to produce fruit - but notice - in season. Sometimes we get impatient with ourselves - at least I know I do with myself. I get tired of repeating the same old offenses and falling into the same old pits. But just as God is faithful to the seasons of the year, He is faithful to your life and mine. He will bring fruit from our lives. Our part is to stay planted.

I love the change of the seasons. It is the whisper of the promise of God's goodness to the days ahead. He is faithful. Isn't that a wonder when you consider how unfaithful we tend to be? So as the rain gently falls this morning and I watch the young trees outside my window bend and sway, I too will bless the Lord for roots that grow deep and fruit that grows sweet. And I will trust Him to produce that fruit in my life and yours in His timing.

Psalm 28: 7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him."

For most of those who will be reading this post, today is the first day of school. Young mothers are taking their babies to kindergarten and crying all the way home. Older moms are praying their college student can get up by themselves and make it to class. I'm in the post-group smiling to myself as I remember with fondness those days long past. I can smile because I made it through those days. And I made it through them because the Lord truly was my strength and shield.

There is nothing like experience to learn trust. As we walk with God daily we begin to build a relationship with Him. When we start out on our walk with Him we tend to be trusting and full of passion. Then life hits us between the eyes and we stumble - we didn't see that coming. We are shocked. Where was God? What happened? For a little bit we are disoriented to the ways of God and we are rocked in our faith. For most of us, that hit wasn't catastrophic and we get up and move on. Then after a seemingly brief spot of peace - here it comes again. Another whomp. Again we stagger. Again we question. And so on and so on. Sometimes we get up doggedly and move on. Other times we wallow in self-pity for a while and then get up. And then there are times we just refuse to get up at all. Despite God's words to the contrary, we feel duped.

But notice with me that the psalmist didn't say the Lord intervened for him - he said he (the psalmist) trusted and he was helped. He didn't say he got out of trouble. He didn't say that his circumstances changed. He said he chose to trust. I wrote a few weeks ago that things are not always as they seem. That is especially true when it comes to trouble in the life of a believer. I was sharing with a young woman last week about her breast cancer. I explained to her that as bad as it looked from her perspective God had a plan that was far-reaching. She had no clue what He was doing through her diagnosis. Her part was to cooperate with Him - fully and acutely aware that He was in control and working out her disease for her good and His glory.

If we choose trust, we will be helped. If we choose trust, our hearts will exult. I think that means faith will rise up and flood our heart and the result will be a song of thanks. Thanks in, not for the trouble. Thanks for the good God promises to brings from it (Romans 8:28). Thanks for our God who deemed us worthy to suffer for His sake. Thanks for the faith that will grow because we have walked with Him through good times and bad.

Sometimes it's a seemingly small matter - like depositing that little 5 yo in kindergarten and other times it's surrendering one to the earth in a coffin. God is in it all sweet sisters. He IS faithful. He does love you. He did not miss you because His attention was in Iraq or the presidential race. He is acutely interested in you. Madly in love with you. Doggedly guarding over you. When you and I truly believe that and take it to heart we will stand firm, rise above and sing....a new song.

A Time For Every Season

Maybe it's the weather but I'm sensing a change in the seasons. Maybe it's school starting again and thinking about the 5 year old little babies that will venture off to kindergarten or the 18 year old babies that will leave home for college. Maybe it's that I just buried my dad and moved my mom and stepdad to an apartment. Life is all about seasons.

At Firmly Planted, we are celebrating ten years in ministry. September 1998 God called me from a career in nursing to begin teaching His word. Little did I know that calling would lead me down the path of job loss, a move from my home of eighteen years, the death of a child, the marriage of two sons, the loss of my dad and on and on. Season after season - love and loss and joy and heartache. Such is life. That's why at FPM we are celebrating ten years with a retreat. We've never done this before but we know God has called us to do it. We are to return to our roots. FPM was founded on the development of an intimate love relationship with Christ and this retreat will be all about Jesus.

Our prayer is that God will plant the desire for you to come and hear what He has placed on my heart. I am so excited. The last few months of ministering to my Daddy have been filled with the revelatory power of God and I have so much to share with you. I know it will be life-changing.

Whatever season you are finding yourself in - God is in the midst of it. He is ever ready to equip you, teach you, lead you and uphold you. Trusting Him is the rock that will stabilize us in times of transition. Come and be filled. Come and reacquaint yourself with the God who moved heaven and earth to reach you.

Random Thoughts

I have spent the last six weeks taking care of my daddy and he doesn't need me anymore. He is healed - perfectly and completely. He is no longer bound to a bed with a mind ravaged by cancerous lesions and damaged lungs. He saw things in those last days that convinced me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not afraid and that we were surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. But I'm a little lost. I don't know what to do with myself. I was so fulfilled caring for him. He was a true blessing to me and I am going to miss him. If any of you need a shave, a bath, your hair trimmed or food cut, I'm a really good caregiver. :)

Along with my rambling thoughts I thought I would tell you about the wonderful caregivers at Springlake Assisted Living in Paris. These are probably the lowest paid people in the medical profession. They are not licensed, they are not professionals - but these women and men have found their calling. They are the least of these who we will be serving in the kingdom.

One morning I couldn't sleep and arrived at Daddy's room at 5:30 am and there sat Wilma holding his hand because he was afraid and wanted company. Morning after morning Nita would bring him his coffee and eggs and cajole him into taking his medicine. Linda would arrive in the afternoon and laugh with him and sneak in ice cream. He died with a stash in his little freezer. Tabitha with her sweet country drawl washed his clothes every Tuesday and folded and put them away as though they belonged to her own family. Cecil visited everyday - often fixing the remote that Daddy would mess up and even came in on his vacation to check on him. Leah and Ronda answered his call light up to ten times in an afternoon when his mind began to slip away and he sat on the buzzer. And yet these sweet ones would come by day after day to visit and laugh and check on us. They even called us at home after he passed. What a wonderful group of people. Paid the least on this earth - rewarded the greatest in the one to come.

I would be remiss to not mention the hospice staff. They told me that there is much misunderstanding about them. That they are often referred to as angels of death - the ones to call when you are ready to die. That is such a lie. They helped my daddy live. He was able to live fully until the end because their concentration and purpose was to provide quality to his dying. Death is part of the continuum of life and it should be approached as fully as any other process. They made sure he ended his life prepared physically, mentally and spiritually. When Daddy's nurse Diana leaned over to try and hear his weak voice one day at the end, I was shocked to see that he did not speak to her ear, he kissed her cheek! That's living!

So all this is to say - things are not always as they appear to be. The first will be last; the last will be first. What appears to be the end, is really just a beginning. What seems to be sad and depressing is sometimes the sweetest of times.

Such is God's way. Don't believe what you see! Hold on to what you know is true. Look for God in everything. Believe Him! Life is good; death is not the end. I hope you enjoyed coming alongside me for the ride and.....if you get to heaven before me, Daddy's the one with the big blue eyes and the amazed look on his face!!

Ecclesiastes 3: 11

"He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end."

I have been sitting with my dad and watching him die. It has been an excrutiatingly painful two days....and it is not over. His body refuses to give up. Breath after agonizing breath....a heartrate fast enough to have run a marathon for two straight days and respirations labored and rapid with a cough that sounds like he is drowning and yet he lives. I know he's ready to go. He made that abundantly clear last week. He was happiest on Tuesday when I came in and he announced that he was going home that day. Said the Lord told him. Wanted to know why in the world we went to all the trouble to bathe and shave him when he was going to be cremated that night.

And then....he woke up on Wednesday and I'm here to tell you.....all hell broke loose. The man was livid. My previously sweet and docile father threw a temper tantrum that our family affectionately calls a "Rodgers fit." By the time I got there he had already taken on three of the staff and Billy and he looked at me with venom and said, "BETRAYER." Apparently since I had signed the papers to have his power of attorney I was supposed to have killed him that night - I had the "power." It would have been humorous had he not been so mad at me.

Anyway...I digress. My point is.....I have always wondered why our bodies keep fighting for life when there is no way to live. My daddy's body is consumed by cancer. His lungs are shot. His brain is eaten up. He is almost paralyzed now on the right and he goes to scratch his nose with his left hand and totally misses his face. His diseased body is failing. But breath by breath he fights for life. Why? Because of our focal verse.

God created us to live forever. Our bodies know it. They fight to maintain it. Isn't that something? My daddy's spirit is yearning to break free of its shell. As he grows increasingly closer to eternity my sister and I were catching him talking to someone in the room. Sometimes he was extremely serious and other times he would have a smile on his face. Mind you, his strength is gone. There is no voice, no sound. All energy is consumed with the task of breathing and yet that left hand will move up - to beckon or to praise? I'm not sure...but I believe there is something he sees that we cannot. I believe he is taking care of unfinished business - eternal business.

You were created to live forever. In God's timing your days will end and it will be the right time. My daddy will go when God calls him - he will not be late and he will not be early. Neither will you. You must make your days count for His sake. It is in your living that God will accomplish His plans and His purposes and it will be in your death that those plans and purposes will be revealed. Live well.

Relationship vs Religion

In Luke chapter two, Mary and Joseph brought the eight day old baby Jesus to the temple to be presented to the Lord. After they entered, an old man named Simeon and an old woman named Anna separately proclaimed that this baby was the Messiah, the Savior of Israel. I have always marveled at that. How did these two old people recognize in an eight day old baby what the religious leaders did not recognize in a full grown man who was preaching the Word of God? There is only one explanation and it cannot be in religion because both had access to the scriptures. It had to be in the processing of those scriptures.

When we think about processing the word of God our tendency is to lean on education or intelligence levels. In Jesus' day, the most learned were the religious leaders. They had access to the scriptures and to gifted teachers so they were rightfully considered the most intelligent men of their day. Yet they did not recognize Jesus. In fact, they were the ones that plotted his death.

Again I ask you: how did two old people with no social class or education recognize in an infant what the most intelligent men of the day did not recognize in an adult? And does that cause you some concern that you might miss Him too? Because it does me.

I believe God wants us to know and understand His word. And yet, if our knowledge and understanding comes from human wisdom then we don't need God. We were created for relationship and it is in relationship that we will find wisdom.

While I should hunger for His word - that very word should draw me to Him. I find myself reading His word and then laying it down to talk to Him about what I read. OR reading His word and being reminded of something I need to ask forgiveness for. OR talking to Him and searching His word to find the answer to my question. If I bury my head in "the book" I may know "the book" but I will miss the relationship with the author.

In this season of my life, I am the caregiver for my dying father. He has cancer over his entire body and I have found myself struggling with my role as daughter/caregiver who happens to be a registered nurse. I tend to not be very smart when it comes to dealing with my own family and I have to step back sometimes and really think hard about what is the right thing to do. This morning in the early morning hours - as is my custom - I was half asleep and speaking to the Lord about His goodness and my love for Him and He brought to my mind the concerns I have had about my father. In the quietness of those moments He seemed to open my mind to the reality of Who He is. He is the author of life and He knows when my dad will go home and that time will be perfect. For Daddy, for me, for my sister and brother and for the Lord Himself. And I had peace.

That is relationship. It's not having all the answers. It's living with some of the mystery and yet trusting the One to Whom we believe. And that sweet ones, is abundant living.

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

You probably read my welcome to FPM's blogspot on Monday. It was our birth day..... and our funeral was on Tuesday when our blog spot was inadvertently DELETED. Hey! It may be a record for blogs.

But it gives me an excuse to do a little teaching. Life is like my blog. Here today. Gone tomorrow. I'm not talking about death - though I could. I'm talking about opportunity. Opportunity to make an impact on your world for the kingdom comes every day. It may present itself in a person or a problem, a temptation or a trial. But opportunity it is.

Most of us want an encounter that shouts "ministry" not problem. We tend to think that problems are all about consequence and rarely connect the reality that our response to trouble is an opportunity to reveal the God of Light to a world that is dark. We long for health and prosperity rarely to reveal a God of Blessing but of a life of favor. Our challenge in this life is to take advantage of every opportunity each day presents to showcase our relationship to the Living Christ.

When my blogspot disappeared it could not come back under the same name. The gods of blogs are quite unforgiving. One shot and you're out. Not so for you and me. His mercies are new every morning. You have a brand new opportunity this morning to make today count. 24 hours of opportunity present themselves to you. Make them count - for His sake.