Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Bittersweet Joy that is Christmas

Because I like to consider myself a decorating diva, there is nothing I like better than transforming my house at Christmas. Please notice the beautiful tree which I am not allowed to decorate. It's true. The diva herself is not up to Billy's standards when it comes to precisely ornamenting the tree. He has a strategy and a plan that has somehow escaped me. But after 37 years of marriage and 38 Christmases I have placed it in his capable hands and I move on to the - AHEM - more important things.

We really have our decorating down to a science after all these years. I leave him to his precision and he leaves me to my decorating. We each do our own thing and stop periodically to admire each other's work. :) It works for us.

It's these life lessons in my marriage that have helped me relinquish a lot of my 'control' issues to the God who has proven Himself to be the best decorator of my heart.

Because our last five years have been marked by a lot of people relocating to heaven, we have made the choice to make Christmas all about family. We do what we can to make our family know how loved they are and that we do not for one minute take them for granted. The presents and the food take a backseat to loving and making time for one another.
"What about Jesus?" you might ask. Good question. While it took our family's relocation from earth to heaven to cause us to focus more determinedly on the family that was left here, it was Jesus' focus on the family He was creating that caused Him to relocate from heaven to earth.
Christmas is bittersweet for us because of the absence of these two. I wonder how bittersweet it was for God to send His Son to a world that would mistreat Him. How bittersweet for Jesus to leave the majesty of heaven for a manger in a cattle stall. To shackle His power in the frame of humanity. To endure the rumors of His birth parents. To be misunderstood and His invitation rejected.

And yet because of the Christmas gift of Jesus, my babies don't have to deal with mistreatments or misunderstandings. With limitations or lack. Because of the Christ child and His willingness to leave the glory of heaven, my loved ones dwell there in absolute perfection, beauty and unfathomable love. So while it is bittersweet that they - and so many others I love - are not here, there is also a yearning within me. A yearning for the perfection that they are now experiencing. For the ability to see Christ face to face. For the understanding of why it's so hard here and what it is accomplishing in the heavenlies.

And so it is bittersweet - because I'm here and they're not. Just like the first Christmas. God was in heaven and Jesus was not. It's a reminder - things are just not right yet. But they will be. One day. He is coming back. Not as a baby in a manger. Not as a poor carpenter. But as the King of Kings. Every knee will bow. Every tongue will confess.

It's quite the juxtaposition. He came so we could go. He gave it all up that we might have it all. He was rejected so we could be accepted. He died so we could live. Bittersweet and joy. A mixture. I think it's fitting and right. I think God understands.

So Merry Christmas my sweet friends. Many of you had a very difficult 2010. I pray that 2011 finds you closer to God, stronger in your faith and filled with the peace that only He can give you. It's bittersweet here, but joy is coming!