WHAT A WEEK!

I just had one of those weeks that...well, that probably most of you have EVERY week. But truly it was different in that it is very seldom that you have a week where almost every day you are being: graded, judged, evaluated or checked-off.

This week I appeared before our elders on Monday night to be allowed to teach a Life Group at our church. Tuesday I had to do a fasting blood test to determine what needs to be done for my health. Wednesday I taught my ladies in Bible study and then immediately drove to Greenville to be checked-off on my sonography skills and then on Thursday drove to Waco to speak at a ladies' event. Something I had not done in quite a long time.

It was the week I had been preparing for and dreading all at the same time!! It's one thing to be busy - it's another to push yourself to live up to the expectations of others.

But here's what I learned about busy, busy weeks. The kind like I had push you to God! I would prefer a busy week in which I knew all I had to do was rely on my skills, my organizational ability and my intelligence to get me through. Those kind of weeks are manageable for me. And often, I plod through with a nod to God in my morning devotions and a get-out-there and get-um mindset. I usually end up getting the job done but leaving a trail of casualties behind me. Casualties of my tongue or my lack of courtesy or simply a lack of noticing anyone else was around.

But when you know you are being evaluated or that you are being pushed beyond your own abilities - you are forced to run to God and plead your case. At least I was! I had no clue what the elders would ask me. So I prayed my brains out...for God to go before me and for me to listen and speak AFTER thinking. Turned out, I didn't have to speak at all. The information sheet I supplied them from my training class answered every question. I discovered I worried a lot about nothing and that God indeed had gone before me.

Still don't know about the bloodwork. Awaiting that response.

Wednesday morning's Bible study brought such a sweet spirit and genuine delight to my spirit that I attacked the drive to Greenville only to come to a dead stop on I-30. I used that opportunity to pray: that I would get there on time, that the babies would cooperate, that the moms would have stamina, that the checker-off-er would be patient and kind, that my brain would function clearly!! Got to the clinic and baby #1 was curled up in a ball! I had prayed against that!! Told the instructor I had prayed against it. Baby #2 was about as uncooperative in where he put his head but I just prayed and scanned, prayed and scanned. It wasn't pretty, but I passed.

Thursday night's group was beautiful, kind and I have no clue if I had any impact on them or not. I just pray that God's word penetrated because I know the vessel He used is weak!

All that to say - weeks like this drive us to God. There is no way when the needs are so great and the outcome so important that we should rely on our own gifts and talents. And yet - truthfully - we should never rely on anything other than His strength and power. Our own gifts and talents are pitiful in comparison. It shouldn't take tests or evaluations to lean on Him. It should become our everyday pattern of living. Because in actuality - every day is a test. This life on earth is a training ground for the life we will one day experience.

I learned a valuable lesson in this hard week and I hope to remember it in the weeks to come. I NEED Him everyday. I want whatever comes from me to be an outflow of what He has put into me. Only then will the world come to know Him. My life hidden in Christ Jesus!

FALL INTO FALL

Well believe it or not - it is OCTOBER and fall has arrived. I don't know how it got here so fast. It's been six weeks since I last posted - I hope you noticed! :) Believe it or not, my life has been SO busy. Who would have thought that in the fall of my life I would be this busy? I sure didn't. I couldn't imagine how I would fill my days after those three little boys left home. They WERE my schedule. But as God would have it - every season has its purpose for being.

Thankfully I have always loved fall. It is my favorite time of the year. I love the colors. The leaves changing and the fruit and vegetables that grow this time of year are vibrant and brilliant in their color. I love that! I love the crispness in the air after the oppressive heat of the summer. It seems like the last days of summer drain everything of life and then the cool air comes with that promise of relief. I just love that! I also LOVE the smell of baking in the fall. Baked sweet potatoes. Pumpkin pies and pumpkin muffins. Apple struesel. Baked breads of all kinds. And SOUPS. I love the smell of a soup simmering on the stove all day long. The anticipation of hot cornbread and that soup!!! It also happens to be that many people I love were born in the fall! My Justin, my mom, my firstborn, my niece, nephew, mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Ahhh, fall is lovely.

So is the fall of life. I love that the busy-ness in my life these days is pretty much of my own making. I pray that I am smarter now about what I say "yes" and "no" to. That my schedule is an indicator of my life - God-centered and God-honoring.

There is a purpose for every season under the heavens. Fall is a good time to slow down. To be purposeful. To be grateful. To breathe deep and to love greatly. I'm probably pretty far from the winter of my life (though only God knows that for sure) so I intend to thoroughly enjoy the fall of my life. I have a feeling it will go by quickly.

Wishing you a purposeful fall!

Agape Love

After a roller coaster week of numbing fear and surging hope our little Noah James (aka Baby K) was born on Friday the 13th at 3:18 pm. He was little but he was a fighter! Born at 26 weeks but the size of a 23-24 weeker, he came out pink, kicking and crying. We were elated and once we saw him - scared to death. He was 15 ounces and 10 inches long. And we were in love! He had his daddy's nose and hair and his momma's fighting spirit! We hoped beyond hope that he would be a miracle to the glory of God.

Going back a few days. His mom's blood pressure was dangerously high. She was being medicated with some serious drugs and was swollen to the point that IV's were difficult and blood draws (which were every 4-6 hours) were almost impossible. She had to undergo fetal tracings 3 times a day and sonograms daily. Each test (8-10 daily) resulted in hope and then fear. On Thursday night at midnight she was moved to the labor and delivery area to do a continuous monitor of Noah because the doctors didn't like what they saw on the shorter strip. She was on oxygen. She had her magnesium restarted. She was exhausted and she was terrified. Many times she looked at me and said, "I can't do this again. I can't do this again." Brandon was beside himself with fear and was totally on track with NEVER putting themselves through this pain again.

Then the doctors said Noah had to come out. They said he was better off out than in and to not get our hopes too high. We prayed. We asked you to pray. We still hoped - not in him or his gestation. Not in Baylor or neonatologists. We hoped in the God who gave us Noah to begin with. And then that little miracle came out - shocking everyone with his fighting spirit. We dard to hope.

And then Saturday morning came. He was struggling and there was nothing left to do for him. So the precious nurses in the NICU removed his tubes, swaddled him in blankets and let his mom and dad hold him and take him to their room to say their good-byes. We were all devastated. Billy and I drove to the hospital beside ourselves that we had to watch our son walk through the loss of a child. As we sat in their room that sad, sad morning Kylie's doctor came in to express her condolences. Kylie then asked, "Is there any reason we can't get pregnant again?"

Billy and I were shocked. After she was discharged from the hospital and came to our house to start her recovery, I asked her what had changed her mind. She looked at me and with tears welling in her eyes, she said, "Once I saw him, I loved him and it was all worth it."

That is agape love. A love that does not count the cost. A love that gives unselfishly. At that moment all I could think of was Jesus and the horror of the cross. When it was over, He must have looked at us and said much the same thing. He loves us. He calls us worthy of the pain, the fear and the disappointment.

It took a horrendous week and a grieving young woman who was a mom for 18 short hours to remind me that love is more powerful than any thing the enemy can throw at us. Love doesn't quit. Love doesn't fear. Love goes for it.

And we will...go for it. Life. Love. Trust. Faith. We haven't lost anything. Noah is just fine and before he gets passed all the way around the loving family that went before him, we'll be there too. Because we have a Savior who agaped us enough to make a way home for us.

So thank you for praying for Noah and for us. We are more than OK. We are stronger. More faith-filled. More in love with the One who loved us first. More confident that this is not our home. More confident that nothing is more important than love.

We love you.

My Heart is Steadfast O God

That is really all I have to say.

Remember

Throughout God's word we will continually find Him telling His people, "Remember.....when I heard your cries in Egypt, parted the Red Sea, sent the Angel of Death. I Am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I will never leave you or forsake you." On and on He reminds those He loves of His constancy in their lives. He apparently reminds us that we are forgetful. We doubt His love. Forget His faithfulness. Choose to believe that we are the ones in control. And so He calls us to remember.

Billy and I just returned from a wonderful trip to San Antonio and as is our custom, we went to the Alamo. For those of us from Texas, the Alamo is a symbol of our freedom from Mexico. It is because of the sacrifice of a few hundred men, women and children that Texas does not fly the flag of Mexico today. Every year in Texas history we would be reminded of the cost of our freedom. How their sacrifice mobilized a motley crew of soldiers to soundly and forever defeat Mexico's vastly superior - in number and strength - army.

As I entered the hallowed grounds I did remember and I was deeply moved by the beauty of the place. Surrounded by a city, this place of great sacrifice has been lovingly and painstakingly restored and maintained by people who also choose to remember. Their remembrance comes in the form of action. They don't just think about a symbol - they actively maintain it in the form of loving service so that others can know and remember too.



I believe it is a picture of how our lives are to be lived. Lives of remembrance of the blood shed that we might live - abundant, free and eternal. It reminded me that my body houses the Holy Spirit and therefore should be a peaceful and beautiful place of reminder for those who come into my presence.

When we left the Alamo, we slowly walked down the riverwalk. Bustling with people and sweltering in the Texas heat, it stood in marked contrast to the place where life was lost.
And then I rounded a corner and saw this
beauty in the midst of heat. Color in the midst of chaos. And I couldn't help but think - "this is how I want to be." A respite in the hectic and frenetic pace that is life today. Beauty amidst the heat of the fire. A stopping place to remember and draw a breath. God is here. He loves us. He proved it by shedding His precious blood that we might live.

Remember the Alamo! Oh yes, but far and beyond.....remember the cross!

Life Preservers

Billy and I are already ga-ga over our first grandson! It is our joy to imagine life with him and so we are already purchasing things to welcome his arrival. Things that will make him more comfortable and things that will prove to him how much he is loved and thought about - before we ever knew him.

Sound familar? God went to a lot of trouble to create a world to cradle his babies! He wanted our home to be comfortable and beautiful for us to enjoy. He wanted creation to teach us about love, joy, peace and beauty. And He created it in such a way that we would also learn to be grateful for the world He gave us and the Creator who designed it.

Our most recent purchase - ahem, as seen above - is his first little life jacket. We have a boat and spend a lot of time going out on it so we wanted to be able to take him out whenever he/we wanted to. Hence the life jacket. Pops was pretty specific about his life jacket. Not just anything would do. Had to have a flotation device that would keep his face and head out of the water in case of an accidental overboard. It has a strap that goes between his legs so he can't slide out of it and a flotation device that makes sure he turns to his back and that his head is supported out of the water. Pretty slick, huh? Gives a grandparent a little sense of security when traversing the high seas - well, Lake Ray Hubbard.

Anyway.....it's not such a big deal. We just love the little fella - already. And we want to keep him safe because the world isn't.

Just like our Heavenly Father. He loved us before before He knew us and prepared a place for us to live life and enjoy the beauty and wonder of His creation. He also prepared a life preserver for us. Jesus. He knew that we would fall. He knew that there would be no way back for us so He provided a life preserver for us in the form of a fully God/fully man sacrifice for our sins.

Baby K will have a life preserver for trips around Lake Ray Hubbard and a Life Preserver for his journey on planet Earth. His mom and dad and his grandparents will make sure he knows about Jesus.

Therein lies our greatest security and our ultimate safety. I pray that you are floating in the safety of His arms. O how He loves you and me.

HIS FAITHFUL LOVE ENDURES FOREVER

Psalm 136 was probably used as a responsive reading in the early church. The history of God's action on behalf of the Israelites would be read by the scribe and the people would respond "His faithful love endures forever." It was a reminder that in every situation in which the child of God might find himself (or herself) he/she could depend on this - God loves you!

It has been a particularly grueling week in my ministry. A precious 11 year old girl went home to be with the Lord after a valiant fight with cancer. My good friend Linda Cooper got a bad report on her PET scan and one last chemo is her option. My friend Virginia found out cancer has returned and one very young friend of Justin's - who is pregnant with her first child is facing lymphoma in her young husband. Grueling. Without a doubt, life is hard.

I suppose that is why Psalm 136 was like a balm to my soul. I have a prayer chain to get out this morning and it sometimes seems as though I have nothing to report but sorrow. And then I read - His faithful love endures forever. I need to know He loves me in sickness and in health. In richness and in poverty. In good times and in bad. He loves me. He loves you.

You can't pin your life on your health....or lack thereof. On chemo or radiation. On doctors or lawyers. On stocks or interest. You can depend on God's love for you. He is faithful in His love. And it is forever.

And His love is RIGHT. Perfect. Without error. You can take that one to the bank. In fact, I hope you do. There is an account for you in heaven. Jesus warned us to store our treasures there for there they would await us. Invest your life in abiding in His love for you. That knowledge - really, it is faith - will undergird your spirit in times of trouble and trial. And whether you find yourself on this side or heaven's side of life, you will experience abundant life.

One cold day in the winter of 2005 a deeply grieving mother stood at the grave of her youngest son and her spirit cried out to God and He responded, "Look around Sherrie. No one leaves this world alive." It was a wake-up call to me that I was not alone in this sin-sick world. Everyone will experience immense grief at one time or another. In the throes of pain, we often miss that truth. This is not all there is. This is not our home. We are simply traveling through.

Help each other. Love one another. Pray for everyone God lays on your heart. Store up for yourself riches in heaven. One day we're going home. Pack your bags now with prayer and faithfulness. With love and grace. With lots of forgiveness and tons of joy. There is a date on the calendar that is set (Psalm 139:16) and in His sovereignty, it is known only to Him. It is for us to prepare for that day today.

His faithful love endures forever.