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I had planned a trip to Temple to give my stepdad a break from his care of Mother this past week. I intended to arrive Tuesday morning and leave Thursday evening but before I left the house that Tuesday morning he called to say Mother was talking out of her head and had been for 48 hours. When I arrived the room was dark, Grandaddy was weeping in the recliner beside her and she was babbling incoherently. I leaned over her and she said, "Oh, you did come." I asked her who I was and she said, "Sherrie." As she began to babble again, I asked her to slow down so I could understand her and she said, "You don't understand, there is so much light in here." As the days passed, Mother would have moments of lucidity where she knew everyone and could converse very rationally. She told her beloved sister, Jane as she left from a visit, "I love you. Take care of your family. Enjoy every moment." She asked me and her sister-in-law, "Do you see that light?" She called out to her brother and mother (who had passed many years ago), "John, Mother, I'm coming home now." Those are beautiful words of comfort to those of us left behind.
My mother was the youngest daughter of 11 children. She was number 9. She married at 16 to my dad and never finished high school. Because of that she always felt like she just wasn't very intelligent but nothing could be further from the truth. My mother - until the week of her death - was sharp as a tack. She had a great memory. She made my sister and I dresses from the time we were little girls and many times with no pattern. She was an excellent cook and could arrange flowers and paint ceramics with the best of them.
My mother was a simple person. She had only traveled to two states in her life and really didn't care. She loved her home, she loved her family and she was content. I never heard her complain about what she hadn't done or couldn't do - she just enjoyed what she had and where she was.
She found love again with my stepdad, Shelby. He adored her and treated her in a way that she had always longed for and deserved. In the first years of their marriage he had cancer and lost his youngest son and she cared for him. In the last years he cared for her. The middle years were spent serving others. They were the most giving people you would ever know. They loved their church and they loved their family - that's where their hearts were. As mother's world closed in due to her vision and mobility problems, they were happy to be together in their home with each other and the many family and church members returned their earlier years of giving by continually supplying them with visits, cards, food and flowers. That never stopped - though Mother was sick for so long.
The day Mother went home was a beautiful sunshiney day. Her aide and I had bathed her and put a beautiful clean gown on her and turned her toward the big picture window in her room. She was sleeping peacefully when I noticed her breathing had changed. My sister, brother, stepdad and I were by her side as her breathing slowed and then stopped. No gasping, gurgling or restlessness. Just a peaceful passing from this life to the next. We spontaneously began to thank God for her life, for her peaceful passing and for the hope that was before us as she was now dancing down streets of gold, hands upraised with perfect vision beholding the wonders of heaven.
Her funeral was packed and she was beautiful. I had seen her sick for so long I had forgotten how very beautiful my mother was. We celebrated her life Monday morning. Over and over again I heard how kind and good my mother was. She never said a bad word about anyone and the love she had for others was sweet and pure. I think our Lord was well pleased with her life and I know that I will miss her greatly. I hope I can leave such a legacy of love and sweetness.
Goodbye for now Mother, I will see you in the morning.
My sister and I spent a day shopping for some office furniture for her new house this week. It was a rare opportunity for us to be together without spouses or children and we thoroughly enjoyed our time together. There is such a sweet fellowship present when you have that genetic bond and also a spiritual one. My sister and I have that. We are not only sisters by blood but also in spirit. She loves the Lord and is committed to being all that He wants her to be. So our time together becomes as spiritual as it is functional.
We happened to get caught in a huge traffic jam on the bridge over Lake Ray Hubbard so we decided to exit and have dinner at the Mexican food restaurant that our nephew works at. He happened to be off that night but we made it clear we were his aunts and we were THERE!
We had a nice dinner and then the sweet little waiter brought our ticket. That's when the trouble began. I took my wallet out of my purse and my kleenex fell onto the floor. Being the neat freak I am, I bent over in my seat to pick it up. Now mind you - my feet do not reach the floor in my chair and my arms are really short - so I reached with my right hand and my left hand held onto the seat of my chair and it flipped me out of the chair. Lovely. I so slowly and so gracefully (if that's possible) fell out of my chair at dinnertime in the restaurant where my nephew works.
The sweet little waiter is helping me and asking "are you OK?" and as I get back to my feet I look over at my sister and she is laughing so hard she is purple-faced. This is the same sister who - by the way - walked into the men's restroom at WalMart that very day and USED it! How could she laugh at me?
That's blood for you. A friend would have helped you. A friend would have been mortified for you. Not blood. They laugh their heads off and remind you about it for the rest of your life. Nothing like family.
Just wanted to give you an update on my last post. I told you I was choosing to rest in Christ. To refuse to think negatively just because my circumstances looked negative. To focus on the truth of who God is rather than the way things appeared to be.
Guess what? I'm happier. I'm much less stressed. I'm not 'going there.' It truly is a choice and even though I sometimes fall back into that crummy habit of thinking that I have - I just snatch myself back to my 'new' pattern of thinking. That would be scriptural - 'take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.'
I'm pretty excited. My circumstances haven't changed. My mind has. And that makes all the difference. His word is truth. He gives perfect peace to the mind that is fixed on Him.
May I encourage you to do the same? Begin to focus on the "Who" that God is vs. the "what" you are going through? Let's hold each other to it. Let's honor God with our minds and for once....let's really live this thing out to the praise of His glory. These are exciting days!!!
This is my first blog in 2009.....I got a call to go to Temple on New Year's eve. My mom was very sick and now is on hospice. Not exactly what I had envisioned my new year to be. It was the first one away from Billy in 35 years and after Daddy's death in '08, I had really envisioned a better 2009. At first I was paranoid imagining that this was going to be a premonition of what was to come; however, I made a conscious choice to accept what 'is' as from the Lord and to believe that this is for my good. It was hard at first. My 'natural' inclination is doom and gloom. I tend to fall back on fear instead of forward into rest. But I am discovering that the walk of faith is all about my choices and my vision.
My choice must be to trust that God has a plan and is in control. That takes the burden off of me for trying to fix things or having to control things. It also means that I don't have to understand what is going on. That is a good thing because I am discovering the older I get the less I know. I can in no way 'predict' what is best or what an outcome will be because I don't know the future.
Which leads to vision. God sees what is ahead. He knows what is needed to mold me and make me into a vessel fit for His glory. He knows what lies ahead and He is working all things together for my good and "working" is a present tense word. It's in the right now of your life and mine. So my vision must be up. Not down in the dumps or even straight ahead into my circumstance. Up - where Christ dwells sitting at the right hand of God the Father, making intercession for me.
However your 2009 may have begun - you are a child of the King. Look up and believe.
I had planned a trip to Temple to give my stepdad a break from his care of Mother this past week. I intended to arrive Tuesday morning and leave Thursday evening but before I left the house that Tuesday morning he called to say Mother was talking out of her head and had been for 48 hours. When I arrived the room was dark, Grandaddy was weeping in the recliner beside her and she was babbling incoherently. I leaned over her and she said, "Oh, you did come." I asked her who I was and she said, "Sherrie." As she began to babble again, I asked her to slow down so I could understand her and she said, "You don't understand, there is so much light in here." As the days passed, Mother would have moments of lucidity where she knew everyone and could converse very rationally. She told her beloved sister, Jane as she left from a visit, "I love you. Take care of your family. Enjoy every moment." She asked me and her sister-in-law, "Do you see that light?" She called out to her brother and mother (who had passed many years ago), "John, Mother, I'm coming home now." Those are beautiful words of comfort to those of us left behind.
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